Basic Question about Dating a MARRIED Poly Woman

[BK2K20]

So I've read some of BlackDragon's stuff in the past and read the Unchained Man. I am delving into Open Relationships for the first time really and "dating" multiple women. I'm having a bit of trouble putting things in the right definitions however; either that or I'm doing it ENTIRELY wrong. My first question is:

1. Is dating a MARRIED girl in an open marriage acceptable? If so may it also fit any of the definition aside fro OLTR (since she's already married)? This is a friend who I've always flirted with and had serious attraction with who recently opened her marriage. We've been having a bit of a fling the past few weeks and it's very exciting for both of us. I care about her (always have as a friend), and we've gotten to know each other on a deeper level. She's going to be out of town for a month and asked me to come visit. Is this okay to do? I know Black Dragon says something about NOT spending money or travelling to meet a woman for sex, BUT it could be really fun. Why not?

2. I'm also dating another FB I kinda care about, but not as much. She WANTS to get married, but I am the wrong ethnicity for her (she's said otherwise I am her ideal man many times). We dated for a while, but I got mad when she said there was no future.....I let it be for a few months, and know we're talking again. I even already told her I'm dating/having sex with another girl and she seems cool with it. Is this an okay girl to keep around?

Both of these girls are SUPER hot. Possibly the 2 hottest girls I've ever slept with. The drawback for both is that there seems to be no future however. I WOULD like some true connection, but maybe that's just my societal programming talking. Maybe I need to keep both and date others that have longer term potential (and can actually spend the night eventually)?

Thanks in advance. This forum seems like a treasure trove.

 

[Papi Knox]

1. Is dating a MARRIED girl in an open marriage acceptable?

Only if you accept it. This is a personal choice. Decide what you're OK with and what you won't allow, then proceed. All I can say is that make sure you can control or accept the potential drama (i.e. meeting her children, meeting her partner, and more). None of that should happen, but she can bring that to you door, if you don't manage the relationship well. Do you have a response to keep that from happening? Do you have a response for if it does happen?

If so may it also fit any of the definition aside fro OLTR (since she's already married)?

No. You just met her. Yes I know you knew her from your past, but now you're dating and getting to know the real here. Wait a year and have this conversation. Force yourself to honor this patient and diligent process. Reread the book to internalize this.

We've been having a bit of a fling the past few weeks and it's very exciting for both of us. I care about her (always have as a friend), and we've gotten to know each other on a deeper level. She's going to be out of town for a month and asked me to come visit. Is this okay to do? I know Black Dragon says something about NOT spending money or traveling to meet a woman for sex, BUT it could be really fun. Why not?

Force yourself to only treat her and see her as an FB. Meanwhile date other women. If she was your MLTR you wouldn't go on the trip. If she was your OLTR, maybe. But overall rule of thumb, don't travel with women. It's never fun as you'd like it to be. Really though, you're way into this women and breaking Cardinal Rules. Refer to the book.

I even already told her I'm dating/having sex with another girl and she seems cool with it. Is this an okay girl to keep around?

Perfect. She's playing your role in the relationship. Setting boundaries and non-negotiable. learn to do the same for yourself in other relationships. Keep this as an FB.

maybe that's just my societal programming talking. Maybe I need to keep both and date others that have longer term potential (and can actually spend the night eventually)?

Yes. You can date both, but keep them as FBs. See them once a week and only for sex. Commit to learning the process, you can't do that if you rush through and even skip steps.

Do this. Read the book again. Then read it weekly for 12 weeks. All the while applying what you glean from it. If you follow the Cardinal Rules you'll know what to do and have more confidence in your decision-making. You also won't find yourself in these situations because you'll start to notice that there's so much more fun to be had than the first options you've been given.

 

[BK2K20]

Thanks boss. I am okay with the situation and any awkwardness that results. She does not have kids. I think part of the reason they married TBH was green card. As far as the OLTR comment I meant down the road. Girl #2 is definitely a FB. The married chick I do like and care for a lot...I think the "skipping" in steps stems from the fact that we've known each other for 2 years already and had so much pent up sexual tension over that time that was finally released and we both kind of are riding high from it. It's REALLY hard to say no to this Miami trip, but you're probably right. I guess I thought it's okay since SHE'S been pushing for me to come visit and have crazy sex while she's away from home.

 

[Papi Knox]

I guess I thought it's okay since SHE'S been pushing for me to come visit and have crazy sex while she's away from home.

Yes I hear you. That's why you come here.

If you had 50 girls blowing up your phone this would not be an issue

You're thinking with your pee-pee, which is a scarcity mindset, which is dumb

1— Date more girls

2— Think with your brilliant mind instead because it'll tell you exactly what you need to do to fulfill your Mission

The answer to all questions is based around how it helps you fulfill your Mission