Daygame, where to start?

Mister

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Hello everyone!

I'm a 27 years old guy with very little experience with women. Up to this point I only dated 9 girls (1-2 dates with each one, sex with only one of them) using online dating / social game. I don't even have female friends lol.

Oh well. But I want to start doing daygame (always wanted to do it).

Problem is: I don't even know where to start - what to say.

I read GLL material (just go to a girl and say "hey I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi") and even did part of the AA program but never completed it, too overwhelming.

I read some of Lenox threads too.

But for me, those openers, both Lenox and GLL, are too... "alpha" for me. I mean... I'm not even close to that level. I'm literally at the bottom of everything (money, body, social, experiences, confidence).

However, I get some looks in the streets (even when dressing like a hobo) so that means I'm not THAT undesirable.

Anyways, maybe I'm rambling, just wanted to give you some context on my life.

So, how do I approach this? I see girls in the street, I can walk and stop them but I literally don't know what to say. I even think that I'm bothering them because I'm not good enough.

I'm not looking for openers or canned lines. Just want to know, how to approach this problem.

I thought about "oh hey, look I'm not going to lie. I actually stopped you because I thought you were cute."

But that's too much for me, I don't have the looks or confidence to get away with something like that.

Thanks for reading!
 

joelsuf

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Focus on the basics my dude.

I recently made a page about this in my blog that I think can help. It is specifically designed for beginners. You might get something out of it: https://www.keepclimbingforever.com/joelsufs-definitive-guide-to-partners/

As far as cold approaching, a lot of people overthink this. Literally just say whatever comes to mind but keep it classy. The most important aspect of day game is not pressuring the chick. If the chick does not feel pressured and you just act friendly, mature, and cool, you can usually invite whatever chicks you want to invite somewhere within 5 or so minutes into a conversation.

My ice breakers are usually just weird observations of mine. Like I'll see a squirrel do something crazy like fall off a tree then bounce off a car and run off like nothing happened or something, I'll walk up to a chick and be like "did you just see what just happened?" Chick will be like "no, what happened?" Then I say my crazy squirrel story. Then I'll ask her how her day was, ask if its cool if we chat for a bit etc.

Don't be afraid to ask chicks if you can be around them. It will take the pressure off. You need to wait for the right moment to be alpha and that is when she is comfortable.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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But for me, those openers, both Lenox and GLL, are too... "alpha" for me. I mean... I'm not even close to that level. I'm literally at the bottom of everything (money, body, social, experiences, confidence).
False

You're ready and at that level now, you just don't have practice with it

Like a child who doesn't know how to tie his shoe, you too can learn and be frustrated by the process

However, that same child won't quit or think less of himself as he learns something new

NOTHING we discuss in these threads is "hard" only new

As in new to you and thus need some getting used to

Only two men in the world, Alphas and everyone else

Make your choice and develop your mind to handle the frustration you'll experience while you internalize your birthright to good living
 

NightHawkBlue

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I'm a 27 years old guy with very little experience with women. Up to this point I only dated 9 girls (1-2 dates with each one, sex with only one of them) using online dating / social game. I don't even have female friends lol.
This is the perfect time to start. I wish I had started at 27.

Problem is: I don't even know where to start - what to say.

I read GLL material (just go to a girl and say "hey I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi") and even did part of the AA program but never completed it, too overwhelming.
Regardless of what system you use, you need SOME structure. Then you track your progress and level up. If you really want to improve in this area - and you can - you need to get serious about it. As Caleb has said in one of his podcasts, you need to treat this as seriously as you would a business, and come up with a plan and a way to track your progress.

Are you out there doing approaches? Do you have at least three blocks of time set aside during the week for game? Do you have a plan to level up, starting with just saying hello to strangers (we all need to start somewhere), and the next level, and then the next level, before you get to the point of doing direct openers?

But for me, those openers, both Lenox and GLL, are too... "alpha" for me. I mean... I'm not even close to that level. I'm literally at the bottom of everything (money, body, social, experiences, confidence).

...But that's too much for me, I don't have the looks or confidence to get away with something like that.
Like Lenox said. You absolutely, absolutely, absolutely need to change this mindset. It's not serving you, man. If you were "literally at the bottom of everything," you wouldn't be here.
 

Mister

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Thanks for your replies.
I've been going out these days (once per day) and it's worse than I thought.

I can't even ask for directions to girls. I can't even stop them.

I don't know what to do, so I'm just going to keep going out until I get past this blockage. Damn.
 

joelsuf

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I can't even ask for directions to girls. I can't even stop them.
"Stopping" chicks to approach them is dumb. The best way to approach chicks in public is to approach them when they are stationary.

I don't know what to do, so I'm just going to keep going out until I get past this blockage. Damn.
What do you think is causing the blockage? Are you intimidated? Worried that something might happen to you if you approach? Messed up expectations or something? Its alright if you mention this kind of stuff to the very chicks you are approaching if you are just trying to improve people skills. I mean the chances of you getting these chicks to do something with you might not be high, but it'll get you better at approaching then you can work from there.

Something I did in my mid 20s when it was difficult for me to even look people in the eyes when talking to them was just go to the mall, window shop, and chat with some of the chicks who worked there. Just having dumb conversations with them helped a lot. Same with cocktail waitresses when going out.

Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of overvaluing or developing negative opinions about chicks. They're just like us dudes: Imperfect creatures with their own particular set of struggles. Once I began treating chicks similar to dudes, things got a LOT better for me.
 

Papi Knox

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I can't even ask for directions to girls. I can't even stop them.
Your ultimate question is about how to get good with interacting with women

Only two ways to do this, build your confidence overall and get more practice interacting with women.

1— Have you read UNCHAINED MAN yet? I recommend it, it is dedicated to answering your question. TL;DR, improve your other other six life areas, and your confidence will soar because you have tangible receipts that you are a man of action who has a rich and full life. I broach the topic here: https://lenoxjones.com/are-you-too-lonely-to-date/

Build your confidence so you know your value, and watch how easy it is to both attract women, or anything your heart desires, as well as keep it in your life longterm.

2— Ya gotta practice. EVERYONE is terrible at new things compared to how proficient they'll be when put time and effort to improve. You need practice with women, but not in the way you're going about it now.

Try this approach, which I've taught many men here.

Every day for the next 30 days, you are to talk to five women who you do not know. Just 5. Every day. Before you go to bed.

By talk, I mean you have to notice a girl or woman of any age and make a comment about what you notice about them. You say "hello, I like those shoes"

That's all you do.

If she responds positively, and engages you in conversation, carry on and go to it's natural conclusion.

If she responds otherwise, then you end the interaction. "Thank you for making my day all the better with your cool shoes Love". Use your own words, this is just how I talk.

Your goal is not to "pickup" women, get phone numbers, get dates, get lays, or get married.

Your goal is simply to talk with 5 girls every day for 30 days.

It's a way to give you all the experience and confidence, and comfort you're lacking right now and truly want.

Do the math, in one month you would have talked with 150 women. Most men won't talk to that many women in their life, but you would have in one month. Hell many men are married and won't have the quality and attention in their interactions, as I'm showing you to have with this exercise. That's powerful.

If you do this, you'll overcome all the concerns you have right now.

This has nothing to do with being "alpha af" or confident, and everything to do with being a decent man with a rich and full life.

That's what I teach, and that's the only foolproof way to have healthy, longterm relationships with women.
 

Mister

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"Stopping" chicks to approach them is dumb. The best way to approach chicks in public is to approach them when they are stationary.
I disagree, that's a good way of letting go A LOT of good prospects (specially girls that look at me and smile)

What do you think is causing the blockage? Are you intimidated?
I know many of these things are not logically true, but this is what I emotionally feel
  • I'm garbage
  • I'm bothering them
  • I don't have value
  • I don't bring anything to the table
  • Why should they pay me attention?
Improve your other other six life areas, and your confidence will soar because you have tangible receipts that you are a man of action who has a rich and full life.
Mmmhm, but he also says to first prioritize Women and Money and then the rest.
I think it makes sense, specially considering that I wanted to approach women for more than 10 years and it's the only thing I think about... and it's destroying my soul.

Ya gotta practice. EVERYONE is terrible at new things compared to how proficient they'll be when put time and effort to improve. You need practice with women, but not in the way you're going about it now.
I agree. Yeah that's what I want to do at first... just tell them a simple compliment... and forgetting for now about phone numbers.
It's just my... emotions that are stopping me from even giving that compliment.
 

Papi Knox

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Mmmhm, but he also says to first prioritize Women and Money and then the rest.
Yes when you can do that, but your ability to attract women is directly correlated to your confidence and esteem. Build those up and attraction becomes easier. Also you can do this simultaneously. However, I say put fitness (mental and physical) first, it's the only way you'll be able to control your emotions like I and other men do. An emotional man is not attractive to anyone, let alone women. Plus he'll hesitate to move to necessary action that can improve his life.

So develop stronger mindsets. Increase your physical strenght and prowess. Commit to action in other areas of your life. Dare to take risks and fail and be humiliated.

Aka... Man UP!
 

Mister

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Commit to action in other areas of your life.
ah I remember when I did that in the past. Good excuse to not approach women ("I gotta increase my value before I can approach women!!")

I'm already going to the gym. And doing meditation + paying attention to negative thoughts and reverting them.

I think that the only way to fix this is... by talking to women. There's no other way. Just talk to women, even if it's one a day.

You get better at talking to women by... talking to women.

In other words: I'm going to keep trying, I'm not going to let these emotions and thoughts stop my from doing what I want to do.
 

Papi Knox

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Brilliant!

Get after it Brother. Let us know how it goes each step of the way.

We can help you as much as we can. Plus there's probably ten other guys in your boat who need your example to inspire and motivate them.

Godspeed!
 

Pickle Rick

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You did't say what city you live in.

Knowing what city you are in is the first step to taking the right steps.

You want to use a different approach and strategy for different cities because of the changes. There are a lot of socio-economic factors and cost of living of the city is another factor.

New York is going to be much different than, for example, Miami or San Francisco.
 

joelsuf

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I know many of these things are not logically true, but this is what I emotionally feel
So that is the "what." And it's a "what" that I know a lot about because I used to feel like that as well. Used to believe that I didn't deserve chicks in my life and stuff.

Now let's focus on the "why."

A lot of the stuff you mentioned are pretty much outward manifestations of shame. At some point, something must have happened to you to get you to feel shame on a level that deep. Its your job to determine what the source of that kind of shame is and do all you can to eliminate it.

I've been there; I can help.
 

Lex

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My “day game” started back in high school. For example. I seen a girl across the street I was attracted to. I would cross the street with right timing a bit in front of her and walk slower for her to catch up as if I’m minding my businesses and let “bump” into me, then look at her strangely. She would get apologetic and I would say it’s fine and where is she rushing to so fast, then listen to her plans, etc and make good humor, ask the name, get her number, and then go out and the rest is done.

Day game is easier than night game IMO. At night it’s the weirdest thing. Women get dressed, etc to go out seeking for attention with the biggest guards up ever! Most women during the day have no gaurd. You can literally go to a Starbucks around a college campus and talk with a chick that’s minding her buisness, only thing is are you as a man interesting enough? Females don’t just think of us as ew. They’ll gladly talk to to us in day time. Night time if they’re out gaurd is up, they feel lonely, mad, etc

Day game is the easiest. Just talk to them without being a creep which means;

Don’t compliment them on their looks, voice,etc
Don’t try to look like they’re someone they should want, just be you, a man, someone they want,
Don’t crack nervous funny jokes unless it’s something they’ll find funny too, such as don’t be a douche with jokes, but make something funny if you think she’ll find it.


Hell, out of 100 girls I’d you just say your name and you’d like a number, as creepy as it is you’ll get 5 at least.

Just have balls to talk to them, and during day time they’re off gaurd, and most weirdest thing is if they like you even a bit the whole time they think about what you’d do if they let you see them at night. Hmmm

Imagine a wife, girlfriend, friend during coffee, and then how they “make up” and dress at night to go out.
 

joelsuf

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My “day game” started back in high school.
lol it did for me as well. If I didn't get one-itis so easily, I would have done real well haha.

I would cross the street with right timing a bit in front of her and walk slower for her to catch up as if I’m minding my businesses and let “bump” into me, then look at her strangely. She would get apologetic and I would say it’s fine and where is she rushing to so fast, then listen to her plans, etc and make good humor, ask the name, get her number, and then go out and the rest is done.
That's actually decent day game execution. A lot of dudes don't know that people in public act courteous and friendly to avoid confrontations, especially chicks. So you should use that to your advantage.

It's too bad PUAs never taught this. For nearly 20 years, PUAs believed that you should have a frame where you are bothering her but it is way better to have a frame where the chick is potentially bothering/inconveniencing you. Not the other way around. What you are describing is how day game is done. Have the chick play defense out of the gate, not you.

Day game is easier than night game IMO
Absolutely. Easiest hunting ground for chicks other than online. Online is by far the easiest: Hit up chicks, hope they hit you back up, ask them a couple of questions, invite. Day game is practically the same only it takes much longer to rack up so many approaches. Still, if you did just day game, you can easily get to 20 invites per week.

At night it’s the weirdest thing. Women get dressed, etc to go out seeking for attention with the biggest guards up ever!
This is because, and it took 15+ years of me doing night game for me to see this, chicks during the night have ZERO interest in hooking up with dudes. The only exception to this is if they are hunting for dudes themselves which is much more rare than PUAs believe. Most chicks go out to impress and compete with each other for attention. Or as an excuse to get out of the house. A lot of times it is the latter.

Day game is the easiest. Just talk to them without being a creep which means;

Don’t compliment them on their looks, voice,etc
Don’t try to look like they’re someone they should want, just be you, a man, someone they want,
Don’t crack nervous funny jokes unless it’s something they’ll find funny too, such as don’t be a douche with jokes, but make something funny if you think she’ll find it.
Good stuff. Complimenting is fine as long as you aren't lewd and as long as you are aware of the fact that you are the over 9000th dude to compliment her and make that observation funny. For example, I'll go like "I'm probably the over 9000th dude to say this but...dem earrings doe. Just saying. No seriously, they look cool."

I'd like to add:
-Master the art of eye contact, meaning look at their face but do not stare at their face.
-Be a little flirty but don't get too crazy or physical.
-Let the chick speak; use one word and one phrase answers/musings
-Master the art of storytelling/anecdotes: Tell the chick stuff that isn't too DHVish, but is rather based in emotion.

Hell, out of 100 girls I’d you just say your name and you’d like a number, as creepy as it is you’ll get 5 at least.
Abso-freakin-lutely. 5 in 100 averages out to 1 in 20. There's a reason why I consider inviting 20 chicks out per week "full time" hunting. Because yes, at least one of those 20 will give you contact info and possibly agree to hang out with you.

and most weirdest thing is if they like you even a bit the whole time they think about what you’d do if they let you see them at night. Hmmm
Oh yeah. An epiphany that I have come to is that the clubs and bars are there for you to take chicks to on dates, not take chicks from to try to get them out on a date. The latter, "pulling" a chick from a venue, is a 15+ year old lie told by PUAs. It's unrealistic and to me, unethical. Case in point: If a chick approached me at a bar or club and was like "yo go home with me," the first thing I'd be thinking was "is this chick trying to proposition me?"

And we wonder why chicks think that unfamiliar dudes who approach them at night might take advantage of them. Hmm...

I seriously have a theory that the only reason why PUAs from 15+ years ago were saying that the only lays that they thought "counted" were from night/venue was because they secretly knew how ineffective it was, and wanted more chicks for themselves while the people they were teaching kept running across hot coals and eventually into spikes which is what doing night/venue game for pulling is 95% of the time.
 

Lex

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lol it did for me as well. If I didn't get one-itis so easily, I would have done real well haha.


That's actually decent day game execution. A lot of dudes don't know that people in public act courteous and friendly to avoid confrontations, especially chicks. So you should use that to your advantage.

It's too bad PUAs never taught this. For nearly 20 years, PUAs believed that you should have a frame where you are bothering her but it is way better to have a frame where the chick is potentially bothering/inconveniencing you. Not the other way around. What you are describing is how day game is done. Have the chick play defense out of the gate, not you.


Absolutely. Easiest hunting ground for chicks other than online. Online is by far the easiest: Hit up chicks, hope they hit you back up, ask them a couple of questions, invite. Day game is practically the same only it takes much longer to rack up so many approaches. Still, if you did just day game, you can easily get to 20 invites per week.


This is because, and it took 15+ years of me doing night game for me to see this, chicks during the night have ZERO interest in hooking up with dudes. The only exception to this is if they are hunting for dudes themselves which is much more rare than PUAs believe. Most chicks go out to impress and compete with each other for attention. Or as an excuse to get out of the house. A lot of times it is the latter.



Good stuff. Complimenting is fine as long as you aren't lewd and as long as you are aware of the fact that you are the over 9000th dude to compliment her and make that observation funny. For example, I'll go like "I'm probably the over 9000th dude to say this but...dem earrings doe. Just saying. No seriously, they look cool."

I'd like to add:
-Master the art of eye contact, meaning look at their face but do not stare at their face.
-Be a little flirty but don't get too crazy or physical.
-Let the chick speak; use one word and one phrase answers/musings
-Master the art of storytelling/anecdotes: Tell the chick stuff that isn't too DHVish, but is rather based in emotion.


Abso-freakin-lutely. 5 in 100 averages out to 1 in 20. There's a reason why I consider inviting 20 chicks out per week "full time" hunting. Because yes, at least one of those 20 will give you contact info and possibly agree to hang out with you.


Oh yeah. An epiphany that I have come to is that the clubs and bars are there for you to take chicks to on dates, not take chicks from to try to get them out on a date. The latter, "pulling" a chick from a venue, is a 15+ year old lie told by PUAs. It's unrealistic and to me, unethical. Case in point: If a chick approached me at a bar or club and was like "yo go home with me," the first thing I'd be thinking was "is this chick trying to proposition me?"

And we wonder why chicks think that unfamiliar dudes who approach them at night might take advantage of them. Hmm...

I seriously have a theory that the only reason why PUAs from 15+ years ago were saying that the only lays that they thought "counted" were from night/venue was because they secretly knew how ineffective it was, and wanted more chicks for themselves while the people they were teaching kept running across hot coals and eventually into spikes which is what doing night/venue game for pulling is 95% of the time.

Man honestly I’m sick in my head. I love women for sexuality. Most want something from me due to how I am as a man and what I posses.


But, how sick am I? I have a child, with a woman I won’t nothing to do with. I don’t contact the woman, or personal message with the man. I see where he posts publicly professionally and I tell him not to lay hands on my child. (He did), without proof in court is here say, jealous dad etc. but see I do that to fuck with his brain.


When you’re red pill, a lot of dudes think it’s about this frame and ignoring women etc.

But redpill to me is seeing clearly through friends, strangers, etc and giving them the reality which is truth, and not to play with me. This is something way above of sleeping with multiple women etc.

Most men are in Disney land. I understand that and give the reality which everyone can relate too.


For personal day game ; they’re off gaurd, someone funny, goood looking interesting etc. believe it or not even though women are off gaurd right away they’ll put you through shit tests right again.

One thing you have to keep in your mind even if it’s a conversation, “how will she keep me in her mind”.


Doesn’t matter how you look, but how she feels.
In reality women want to FEEL, just make certain feel. This is acceptance and rejection . Easiest is day game cause they are who they are compared to night games where they wish they were who they want to be. That hot sexy birth picked up by a rich dude or that ugly girl some dude cares about her etc, but they play more games at night.


For example: Starbucks, just find a cute girl sitting on her laptop and ask her for a suggestions, and continue of that, and then go further. She’s off gaurd.
 

joelsuf

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But redpill to me is seeing clearly through friends, strangers, etc and giving them the reality which is truth, and not to play with me. This is something way above of sleeping with multiple women etc.
Most men are in Disney land. I understand that and give the reality which everyone can relate too.
Here's the crazy part: In 90% of cases, the red pill is just another form of Disney: Just some fantastical world made up of ideals. Some of the craziest and most toxic red pill crews act exactly like the women's groups they supposedly despise which to me is beyond retarded. Meanwhile I'm sitting here trying to see how I can use all this stuff to my advantage.

For personal day game ; they’re off guard, someone funny, goood looking interesting etc. believe it or not even though women are off guard right away they’ll put you through shit tests right again.
Fair enough but "shit tests" don't even register on my radar.

One thing you have to keep in your mind even if it’s a conversation, “how will she keep me in her mind”.
That doesn't matter to me either. I don't care about that. To me all that matters is "was I friendly and nonthreatening, did I flirt, and did I invite the chick somewhere?" That's it.

Of course, this means I need to grind out approaches, invites, etc. Big deal, its all fun and games to me. I don't take chicks serious unless they are doing alpha 2 stuff. And over the last five years I have met exactly one chick who did some semblance of alpha 2 stuff. All the others? Struggling single moms or teachers or something. Great FBs, but there's no way I'm doing anything serious with those types.
 

Lex

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Here's the crazy part: In 90% of cases, the red pill is just another form of Disney: Just some fantastical world made up of ideals. Some of the craziest and most toxic red pill crews act exactly like the women's groups they supposedly despise which to me is beyond retarded. Meanwhile I'm sitting here trying to see how I can use all this stuff to my advantage.


Fair enough but "shit tests" don't even register on my radar.


That doesn't matter to me either. I don't care about that. To me all that matters is "was I friendly and nonthreatening, did I flirt, and did I invite the chick somewhere?" That's it.

Of course, this means I need to grind out approaches, invites, etc. Big deal, its all fun and games to me. I don't take chicks serious unless they are doing alpha 2 stuff. And over the last five years I have met exactly one chick who did some semblance of alpha 2 stuff. All the others? Struggling single moms or teachers or something. Great FBs, but there's no way I'm doing anything serious with those types.

Man, I have a child with a woman that left me for a what people call blue pill “beta”. I could careless about her, just my child’s well being. She and her confuse that as I am crazy for her or whatever you want to label it.

I do what legal is written. It doesn’t work with her time frame, so this woman will threaten me with cops. Let’s say I don’t respond in an hour, she will say if she doesn’t get a response she is calling police. Even tho legally I’m correct, child is not in any harm.

What do I said ? Call who ever you want. No fear of cops etc.

I can never understand man that are in fear. I literally don’t fear any man rather they have a badge, gun, bigger, smaller, etc... I do not. Why would I fear any woman rejecting me?


If guys can get that in their head. Look around bars, and other social places, most men will conversate with each other before women. What kind of men find more comfort in another men to just spark up a conversation than a woman? That tells you what kind of men are around you.

Day game, most omahe are not thinking too much if at all. It’s literally the easiest game.

I tried this online thing for a few weeks now. Seems most respond at night and start off with whatever will get them off.

Day game, they won’t. Just be confident and have a conversation, a friendly encounter but have that edge, that edge will lead you into their minds if you are the man you think you really are.

A great example: once in a while I’ll wear a nice suit, dress shoes, and a nice shirt, which is business but casual but outgoing. They’ll notice and ask where am I dressed up for. If I come in my sweatpants I look like a guy that got done playing video games.

I just take a conversation from there, and this is where you differ from other man if you’re interesting enough.

I noticed day game sucks for men, because they haven’t prepared themselves, they aren’t expecting anything, and they see something looking good and they don’t feel confident enough to approach.

But once you realize, you wake up, dress up in a confident state, mind, just as if you were getting ready for the Friday night, and you go in day time, you’ll have the confidence, women are off guard, and most men are not there in that mind state. It’s easiest actually.
 

joelsuf

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If guys can get that in their head. Look around bars, and other social places, most men will conversate with each other before women. What kind of men find more comfort in another men to just spark up a conversation than a woman? That tells you what kind of men are around you.
Which proves my point about red pill communities online. They'd rather bitch to each other about chicks than actually go out and GET chicks.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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Red pill... Manosphere (MOan-Ass-Fear)

All emotional theoreticians who like to bash women and talk about nerd sex

Don't theorize... ACT and prove or disprove what works with your personality and lifestyle

Your experiments in the real world will teach you more than any book that speaks about hypergamy, which is largely irrlevant to real men doing the work
 
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