Drama management when living together

[IsoE]

Hello!

First post in here. Im 36 year old man and I recently move together with 24 year old woman. This is my first serious open relationship. I was cohabitating once before with woman around 6 years ago. That relationship was monogamous and I ended up cheating.

I notice that drama increased almost instantly when shes moving in. I been with her aroung 1,5 years with zero problems before moving together. Currently I have 2 fb:s and apartment is mine. I dont have one itisy feelings for her. So I think im good if the relationship goes south.

I have habit to start alpha 1.0 behaviors when the drama occur. I know very bad for long term relationship management. Shes submissive, really sensitive and overthinking a lot. And I think shes get little bit scary when I lose my temper. Its not even drama all the time. Shes rarely point bad feelings to me. Its just really illogical problems and opening up to me around 2-3 times a week and I get tired of that. And yes I know already that OLTR is more difficult than MLTR/FB model.

Any advice whats proper drama management mindsets and techniques when soft nexting is not in my toolbox now? And do Blackdragon talk a lot about those skills in hes open marriage book? I dont read that yet. I already read get to sex fast, open relationship manual and unchained man books.

 

[Yoylo]

Im 36 year old man and I recently move together with 24 year old woman

You just shoot yourself in the foot. Do not move in with the woman. There is no justification for that unless you want to have a kid with her.

 

[IsoE]

You just shoot yourself in the foot. Do not move in with the woman. There is no justification for that unless you want to have a kid with her.

Men Grabbing Their Own Wieners

 

[Papi Knox]

Men Grabbing Their Own Wieners

Not sure what this means.

But you have to take responsibility for your situation.

I say this with all respect, you fucked this up from the very beginning. There is no 'Land of Happy Ever After' at the end of the road you're on. You can't get there from here; you never could, you never will.

Now is damage control meaning you stop the bleed by kicking her out of your place, and letting the relationship play out however it does.

"Love I prefer things the way they were, and this is putting strain on our relationship. You need to move out and I'll give you 45 days to find a new spot. If at that time, you don't have a place, you'll have to place all your things into storage, and find people who will help you with a couch to sleep on, but you won't be staying here."

Own your space. Move her out, and help her through the process. You don't need to a be a dick about it, but definitely lead yourself and her to a situation that'll make YOU happier longterm.

But now you know that you avoid living with a woman at all costs or buy a BIG enough place with seperate rooms so that you have true autonomy.

 

[IsoE]

"never move in with a woman" is MGTOW

 

[Papi Knox]

"never move in with a woman" is MGTOW

Says the man who has no control over his current life.

Women are like children. I also recommend not living with children.

They both demand so much attention that it is impossible for a competent man to live his full and rich life.

Competent men instead build their lives to uphold and celebrate their values. How does your current life uphold and celebrate your values?

It doesn't.

Either accept the situation you've created and stop complaining OR create a situation you can thrive in like a competent man and rejoice.

Choice is yours, but whatever you do own it and learn form it. Instead of trying to hide your embarrassment by editing your post.

Either delete the thread like a man or be honest about your life like a man.

No room for cowardly fuckery among your trusted Brothers in this forum.

 

[IsoE]

Look brotha. 2 thing I learned from this is I tried to look some magic bullet but there is no. And never share any details about life in internet. Of course im not gonna do radical shifts in my life because some internet commentator over seas says so.

Calmness and avoiding aplha 1.0 behaviours is a thing to better life. Not perfect life but better.

Your type of happiness is not my thing. Im way to bohemian for that. Its look to binary and measured for me.

I try to look deleting my account and this thread but cant find. At least when using it with phone. How can I do that?

Thanks and merry christmas and sorry about my childish behaviour.

 

[Papi Knox]

If you'd like me to remove your account, message me privately and I can sort that for you.

Wish you all the best if that is your choice.

 

[Pickle Rick]

Isoe

What is your first language?

I am not going to sugarcoat this.

This relationship is doomed to failure and the sooner you make her leave the better off you will be.

If you need a roommate for money to pay the rent a male friend is a much better option.

Living with women will always involve drama to some degree.

The best strategy now is to remove yourself from the situation when you get angry.

Go for a walk. Take a shower. Go for a swim.

Leave the physical space.

But mid term relationship management is to have separate living spaces.

A strategy with a lot of people is "small doses;" that is, you limit your time with them.

This is one of those cases.

 

[Papi Knox]

Isoe

He's no longer in the forum.

 

[E3d2]

Hi, I'm going through similar issues now. My Oltr moved to my place temporarily during Corona BS lockdown for two months. In my country lockdown is pretty extreme, no friends visit, beach is not allowed, jogging, movement prohibited a lot, I can't visit my FB etc.

Any ideas of special relationship management techniques during lockdown or someone else going through similar challenges? I'm lucky to have apartment with plenty of space and last 12 months of relationship I did most things right. She used to spend few days before at my place, but now we both work from home now and we fight more than I expected.

Not sure why some treated Isoe in such a way. It's an interesting topic with not much content about it online. Avoiding living with a woman is not an option for everyone forever. Also, thin line between Alpha 1 and 2 behaviour is often challenging to apply.

 

[Papi Knox]

Not sure why some treated Isoe in such a way.

These topics are legitimate and manageable. That former member wanted to address them without taking responsibility fpr his choices. It's OK to be ignorant or arrogant, but both means you can't be helped and impede the progression of others. Further proved by him cowardly wanting to stay stuck and leaving this forum altogether.

But we don't concern ourselves with the choices of silly people

Any ideas of special relationship management techniques during lockdown or someone else going through similar challenges? I'm lucky to have apartment with plenty of space and last 12 months of relationship I did most things right. She used to spend few days before at my place, but now we both work from home now and we fight more than I expected.

I don't see a happily ever after here, at best we can slow the bleed

Why is she living with you?
Under what terms did you let her stay with you?
What are you allowed to do outside the house?
Describe the "fights" you have

Also where are you?

 

[E3d2]

Hey Papi, I am in capital of third world country and some BD principles made for Western countries can be taken lighter. But it's a big city, not small town.

We agreed that for health and safety of both of us (she really has previous respiratory health issues sometimes) and for our relationship is better option if we stay together than not seeing for two months. I was choosing between 2 not great options and not having sex for 2+ months contributed

She moves out after two months although seems like that LOCKDOWN might be extended for longer. Therefore I'm asking advices. Only food shopping is allowed and quick work out, no beach, sitin restaurants, only residents can access my building.

We have similar fights about stupid things like Isoe said although she's not submissive like his girl. I lose temper and become typical Alpha 1.0. Too much irrational behaviour and stubbornness like typical 25 year old triggers me, as we are forced to spend too much time together.

 

[Papi Knox]

Hey Papi, I am in capital of third world country and some BD principles made for Western countries can be taken lighter. But it's a big city, not small town.

Are the penalties enforced?

I'd go out often for drives and walks and work, which is what I do now. I recommend it since the opposite will make you go mad

We agreed that for health and safety of both of us (she really has previous respiratory health issues sometimes) and for our relationship is better option if we stay together than not seeing for two months.

This doesn't make sense. If this were the reason, you'd stay away from each other. Sounds like it was her idea and you caved and followed her lead. Stop thinkin about getting your pee-pee wet adn see the bigger picture.

I would kick her out and start visiting each other once a week. Just lie to the authorities if it comes to that. I'm visiting my aunt who needs food, etc.

Of course Lockdown will go longer, that was expected, so you either kick her out now or suffer longer

That said, all this is because you're letting her lead. She's not a good woman to date

But she doesn't have to be as dreadful, so this will become a clean up job

1— Stop being soft, she's a girl, she's gonna say and do dumb things. You should know this. Don't date if you don't accept this. A man how resents or hates women will never be successful with them. Address this first.

2— Stop giving her attention when she acts out. She is a child. Like all children she wants attention. She starts fights because she knows you'll give her free attention. Stop and she'll stop. From now on only give her attention when she does good things. Train her like you would a child. Suck my dick, good girl. Clean my house, good girl. Say nice things, good girl. Reward her with compliments, kisses, and orgasms. Punish her by ignoring her. Leave the house for hours, even if it means going in your car and parking somewhere for a few hours. Let her wonder where you've been and never tell here. Where were you babe, "Out".

3— Stop dating women you don't like. Learn to discern and weed out women like this sooner on. In your first 2 minutes of interaction you should have noticed the kind of woman she was. Attune yourself to this or level up so it becomes irrelevant.

4— Finally, let your no mean no. You cave way too easily. Say no. Mean it. No conversation. Just onto the next topic or back to work. She only shits on you because you say no but do yes. That's pathetic and she punishes you for it.

This is only going to get worse, but now you know what to do to avoid being in this situation ever again

 

[E3d2]

Hey Papi, many thanks for your thoughts and time you put into answering.

Staying together during Covid at my place was only my idea, she's too proud to ask for it. Health and safety reasons primarily yes, don't wanna go into more details about her roommates, building, neighbourhood, how country works etc cause we'll go off topic. Some other assumptions regarding our situations are not correct actually, but irrelevant for the topic.

Problem is not in her, but in me, she's a low drama person with nice personality, but still she's a girl. My responses to adversity and typical annoying girl beahviour, and my short temper. I guess I'm still more of an Alpha 1 guy that I thought. I think your No2-ignoring and not giving attention will work the best for me. Also, what I found good is scheduling dinner together like we're not locked in the same apartment, work the rest of the day on our own things and not taking for granted that in this situation you can reach to each other 24/7. Sleeping in separate rooms for few days helps obviously.

 

[Papi Knox]

Problem is not in her, but in me, she's a low drama person with nice personality, but still she's a girl. My responses to adversity and typical annoying girl beahviour, and my short temper. I guess I'm still more of an Alpha 1 guy that I thought. I think your No2-ignoring and not giving attention will work the best for me. Also, what I found good is scheduling dinner together like we're not locked in the same apartment, work the rest of the day on our own things and not taking for granted that in this situation you can reach to each other 24/7. Sleeping in separate rooms for few days helps obviously.

Great first steps

Make it real

 

[Papi Knox]

@E3d2 are you on Telegram?

We're starting a private group there to have conversations like this in real time and get real results and progression

Find me on Telegram to get the official invite