Gym primer


Nov 22, 2019
Lots of guys going into 2020 with fitness goals, this might help and the forum could use content so:

Before you start
Spot reduction of fat (i.e. burn belly fat now with this one simple trick) is for all practical purposes, a myth. Full body reduction of bodyfat % is how you get visible abs.

Noob gains are a thing, you'll build muscle faster at the start of your fitness journey.

To build muscle and gain a little fat, eat a caloric surplus (say 500). To loose fat and a little muscle, eat a caloric deficit (say 500). You can build muscle and loose fat at the same time (by eating a very controlled small caloric surplus and working out and doing everything right e.g. sleep/exercise/choices/ macro ratios) but neither very efficiently and it's arguably better to just carefully gain or cut.

Muscle gain is the result of progressive overload, sufficient protien intake, and good recovery. All these things are worth having a working knowledge of and each is worth a post in of itself, this is just a quick and dirty guide. Remember real progress sticks to proven fundamentals for years at a time (yes years, lots of them).

Very good workout programs are widely available, don't pay for one. No fitness guru has any kind of bullshit secret the industry doesn't already know. Check out the gainit reddit or something. I like the ivysaur 448 programme for beginners or the full program below for busy fucks who have failed at literally everything else

Good diet is a huge post, but biggest improvements would be eat real cooked food not ready meals, cut refined sugar e.g. cola and candy (and fruit juice, just eat fruit). Well designed Keto/Vegan/Carnivore is fine, badly designed Keto/Vegan/Carnivore is not.

Eat good doses of protien at each meal and unless you're cutting there's no reason to intermittent fast at just one massive meal a day.

Before you do any exercise make sure you know good form for that move and complete the full range of motion. Look it up online or hire a personal trainer to show you.


For vanity muscle groups- triceps for big arms, biceps for attractive arms, deltoids, lats and traps for bigger silhouette. Then squat and deadlift because you don't want to be a meme.

If you find yourself hella busy but you want a "good" workout here are some ideas.

The I have no willpower and no muscle workout-

Buy a pullup bar. 3 sets of 10 chinups. Can't do 10 chinups? Get a chair and boost yourself up to the bar then lower yourself down from the highest chinup position down to a dead hang for each chinup you can't do (called "negatives"). Do 10 negatives if you have to till you do fewer and fewer negatives and more proper chins. Record progress. Do 2-3 times a week with a min of a day between each workout.

Add in 3 sets of 10 pushups (it's ok if you can't do the full 10, do as many in each set as you can), on your knees if you have to. As always record progress.

The basic bitch workout-

Day 1:
4x8 chinups (weighted if needs be)
5x5 barbell squats

Day 2:
4x8 dips (chest heavy version leaning forward, weighted if needs be)
5x5 deadlifts

The bare bones workout:

Day 1:
4x8 chins
4x8 dips
4x8 overhead press
5x5 barbell squat

Day 2:
4x4 chins (with a heavier weight of course)
4x4 dips (as above)
4x4 ohp (you get the idea)
5x5 deadlift

Two day splits are not ideal, and I would add in some barbell rows there too and whatever isolation work you want ideally, but those exercises will get you started. As I said the gainit reddit has good workout for all levels those are just for time strapped/lazy gits.

You'll notice I didn't mention bench press, I prefer dips party for muscle groups hit and partly because you can do all the exercises I mentioned solo with a power cage w/ dip attachment and a barbell. No gym subscription needed, invest once and save money.

Personal trainers can be worth if if they get you started on learning the exercises or for motivation, don't trust any P.T. that changes up workouts way too often with a million tiny variations on basic exercises. Consistent effort on a good program with good form, nutrition and sleep is all you need.


Eh, ok technically if you do everything right from the word go, that is;

Get on a clean diet with just the right surplus and correct protein intake for your weight (in lean mass)
Get on a good program and perform the exercises correctly every time
Avoid serious injury
Get good recovery time
Follow up with the correct careful caloric deficit to get to 10-15% bodyfat

I've seen it done in a little over a year. I mean you won't be captain america (at least without that "super soldier serum" wink wink) but you'll be above average and the average person would probably consider you "ripped". The average lifter won't, of course. And by that point, nor will you, because by then of course you'll have tasted the sweet nectar of gainz and nothing will ever be enough to satisfy you again (you can get around that by just setting concrete goals one at a time). You do see some improvements in attention beyond that but the best of it will be that initial 1-2 years unless you go real hard at it later.
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