How to escalate to sex?

Gulliver

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Sep 9, 2019
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64
I just got my first date scheduled through the help of this forum, specifically Sir Lenox! Kudos man! And Caleb's books: Online dating and Unchained man.

It's going to take place in the Capital city and I only go up there when I have something to do in the City. 2 hours of train time. (I know it's a bit long but I'm going to work on reducing this). So I know that Caleb's system is usually max 60 min first date in a classy bar then second date and sex. But this woman, age 32 (I'm 34) already to told me she is looking for a casual relationship since she recently broke up with her partner. She was bitching about her ex via private messaging, and we had a good conversation about our exes and what we are looking for in a relationship.

Anyway, my point is, she knows don't live in the city and she already told me her frame for casual relationship and then see where it goes, which is mine as well, so we were in tune. So I guess that would obviously mean, sex could be on the first date.

I read about the sexual and playful frame, kino etc in Caleb's book and dos and don'ts. But actually, how do you escalate to having sex or is it something she may do if following the system? Eg will she invite me to her apartment or do I have to propose it? As you can tell, I'm new to this... however really not bothered if it doesn't end up in sex - the first date is fine with me as well. I'm going to meet my buddy as well the same day so it won't be a waste of time. I'm getting more outcome independent and want to know what usually works for first date sex?
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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356
Glad to hear you practicing the approach, and seeing initial results!

In the future, do not talk about the future relationship. Instead joke about the future relationship and exaggerate it so she knows it's all a joke, but playfully understands that it could become the reality. This speaks to her indirect way of speaking and interpreting your words, while playing along with the obvious fantasy that she needs to feel comfortable.

NOW

Do not deviate from the system. Disregard everything she's said and assume the opposite. I assure you she wants a serious relationship, she just doesn't trust you enough to suggest you're that man. She's testing you, and you're falling into her frame. SO stop and go back to the system.

Own your Alpha frame. "We're going out for drinks at BarBar. I'm busy so I can only stay for about 45 minutes. Let's have fun getting to know each other while I'm in the City working."

That's your mindset, nothing more

Step outside of the system and you'll enter into zones unfamiliar that you don't have the experience to manage yet

If you want to be OI, don't propose sex or expect it. You're just a relaxed man taking a break from an eventful day making moves with a fun and cute girl.

Go to the City to do work and connect with your college. Make your hangout with him about making money to sweeten your growth and future plans to conquer.

This will be hard from you, and you will fumble. That's expected, but going into this thirsty and thinking about her body and fucking will dmage your frame now and forever (assuming you do fuck). Stay in control man with whatever relaxation techniques help you best.
 

Gulliver

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Sep 9, 2019
Messages
64
Hey man, I actually got more dates in 1 week than in the last year! WTF!
I have a date lined up for the next weekend and the week after (I know it's a bit too far, but they had no other times because they were busy). I also did some day game after the date, and got two instagram handles. 5 prospects on my spreadsheet in a week! I had none in a year. In fact I had none in the last 4-5 years I tried. LOL

Now, thanks for the advice. I should have given you an update as to what actually happened.

You said she wants the opposite of casual relationship. Well, I think this was talked through quite explicitly which I liked in her. She asked me on facebook what I want, I said I want long term but I'm up for casual as well. She said she wants casual for now and see where it goes but ultimately wants long term as well and settle down. It sounded honest. That's what she reiterated on the date as well when I brought up the topic.

So we met up, she wanted first to grab lunch, she paid for it, then we went to a coffee shop and didn't want any drinks. For some reason, she really wanted to talk about her ex a lot and so we talked about that, mainly her talking and me listening and asking questions. But she did ask about my ex-wife and this was a great conversation about relationships and love styles and the like.
She started kinoing me halfway through the date, which is great because I had no fucking idea how to get started. So once she did it, I did it as well, she did it more though. She regularly touched my hands.

It was a little longer than expected, I know the max 60 min rule, but I felt the conversation was very deep and I'm establishing rapport. She even cried during our talk as I pointed out something that she hasn't thought about her ex - how some people can't accept love. She was touched. And I hugged her over the chair halfway. I felt we established a deep connection. I do look for companionship as well, so this was great that we were resonating on topics like these.

I don't know if this was a good idea or not but I asked her if she wants to meet up again, and she said yes. Then I gave her a deep hug and we kissed on the cheek and left.

That was on Saturday, now I don't know if I should be contacting her between the first and second dates. But what I gather is that unless she initiates, just contact her every 3 days or so, right? I had the urge to talk to her on facebook again, today, just to keep the conversation flowing, but I guess that would have been a beta move so I didn't. Thoughts?

Now the next problem I face is that I don't live in the City, so I can't invite her to my house... So how does this supposed to work then? She mentioned that she likes cooking healthy meals. So perhaps when I contact her again for setting up the second date I could say something like: you mentioned you like cooking healthy meals, rather than going to a boring coffee would you want to show me your favorite meal I'd love to see what you can cook?

I also have this urge to kind of like talk directly about these things. But you said indirect is better. Eg I'd be like so would you like to start this casual relationship we talked about? But I guess that's too direct, so I didn't say that.

How do people get started with a friends with benefits set up? Never done it. Does it "just happen"?

As you can tell I'm a noob in this :)

Just ordered the other book get to sex fast by Caleb. Also, ready some of his articles on kino vs sexual escalation on the second date. I'm a virgin in this, as I was married for 12 years and my ex was through social circle game, and it was totally different back then. I was a total Beta. So any tips would be appreciated what to do between the two dates and on the second date. As Caleb said, I don't think I'd have a problem escalating because I'm in the same situation, I'm horny as fuck lol (I don't watch porn and don't masturbate too often).
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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356
Cool. You'll tighten up your approach with more expereince. This is decent start.

Unless she texts you first with a IOI, you wait a day or so to say hello, recall an inside joke, and then propose another date. That's it. Short and sweet.

Right now you're entering boyfriend mode, which is not the aim.

You are a man with a rich and full life, who happens to have a an hour or so each week to say hi and get to know this girl.

I personally don't touch women until they pounce or beg for me, but it can work on many girls.

BUT what you really need to do is open hundreds more women and get more dates.

That way you kill the oneitis and get more experience.

You're in a jam logistically, so you need to plan diligently how to make this work so that you see her again and make is sustainable for yourself. This is on you now since we don't know your area and resources.
 

Gulliver

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Sep 9, 2019
Messages
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Cool. You'll tighten up your approach with more expereince. This is decent start.
Unless she texts you first with a IOI, you wait a day or so to say hello, recall an inside joke, and then propose another date. That's it. Short and sweet.
I see. The problem with the second date is I can't invite her to my house so how does this supposed to work then? She mentioned that she likes cooking healthy meals. So perhaps when I contact her again for setting up the second date I could say something like: you mentioned you like cooking healthy meals, rather than going to a boring coffee would you want to show me your favorite meal I'd love to see what you can cook?

Right now you're entering boyfriend mode, which is not the aim.
I don't mind being a boyfriend, I do want a girlfriend. But I don't want to become a husband (not with a marriage certificate for sure). Why should I above the boyfriend mode?

You are a man with a rich and full life, who happens to have a an hour or so each week to say hi and get to know this girl.
I personally don't touch women until they pounce or beg for me, but it can work on many girls.
Right, yeah, a couple of hours. So you don't share Caleb's first date kino system?

BUT what you really need to do is open hundreds more women and get more dates.
That way you kill the oneitis and get more experience.
That's for sure. I'm not done, still doing the blitz. By the way, how do people get started with friends with benefits set up? Never done it. Does it "just happen"?

You're in a jam logistically, so you need to plan diligently how to make this work so that you see her again and make is sustainable for yourself. This is on you now since we don't know your area and resources.
Yeah, it sucks a bit but I'm ready visiting the City for now 2x a week max. Yes, it's extra time and money, but at this point in my life, I'd rather do this then sit at home while my ex is still at home. I just don't like staying home that much anymore. Best would be to sleep overnight at the weekend at one of the girls. But I'm not there yet, and my two guy buddies living there rent small rooms, so I can't sleep at them either. At this point, I don't want to pay for accommodation either. The good news is, I actually like traveling on the train for the time being, it brings me away in my mind from the shitty divorce thing. I also met a girl on the train and got her IG, so it's a daygame place for me.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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356
STOP!

You're doing contradictory things and if I notice it, you bet she does too

Bad news for your situation

Again, you have to decide what you want FIRST and go for that... AND never deviate it from it

If you want to be a boyfriend, I cannot help

Boyfriends don't have FBs, but they do pedastalize women and sometimes get their pee-pee wet, just with the woman leading their weak male counterpart

All my advice is how NOT to be a cucked man

Don't follow a word I said or will ever say on this site or others, it'll turn you into a leader not a follower
 

Gulliver

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Joined
Sep 9, 2019
Messages
64
STOP!

You're doing contradictory things and if I notice it, you bet she does too

Bad news for your situation

Again, you have to decide what you want FIRST and go for that... AND never deviate it from it

If you want to be a boyfriend, I cannot help

Boyfriends don't have FBs, but they do pedastalize women and sometimes get their pee-pee wet, just with the woman leading their weak male counterpart
What contradictory things? I don't understand what you're talking about. How does talking about second date is contradicting anything?
I said in my initial thread I want FB and MLTR. Caleb called sometimes her women "girlfriends" who were in fact MLTR. So I'm not sure how I deviate from it by using the term boyfriend? I clearly didn't mean a monogamous boyfriend.

All my advice is how NOT to be a cucked man

Don't follow a word I said or will ever say on this site or others, it'll turn you into a leader not a follower
It may be my English but I feel I'm being threatened. Are you saying I can't say a thing on this forum? Could you reword it please?
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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No threats. Relax.

I meant what I said. You are a grown man, act like it. Own the words you use and use them properly.

We don't use boyfriend in here because it means a very specific thing. The fact you're using it, along with other things you're saying hints at your want and need for companionship, which goes against everything I'm sharing with you. Keep that in check.

If you want companionship, you build it.

But if you lead with that needy desire, then you'll fall for any dumb chick who smells nice and lets you fuck her. Raise your standards, and respect yourself. You ar the prize and you are willing to go a liftime without companionship, if it means not ending up with a lousy broad who brings drama to your life regularly.

That's my point.

Stay in the game. Keep your mind sharp. Have your emotions, but don't let them cloud your judgment and limit your true goals.
 

Gulliver

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Sep 9, 2019
Messages
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No threats. Relax.
Good, thanks for clarifying. So what did you mean by "Don't follow a word I said or will ever say on this site or others, it'll turn you into a leader not a follower"?

I meant what I said. You are a grown man, act like it. Own the words you use and use them properly.

We don't use boyfriend in here because it means a very specific thing. The fact you're using it, along with other things you're saying hints at your want and need for companionship, which goes against everything I'm sharing with you. Keep that in check.
So what does the term "boyfriend" means here? Does it mean a monogamous AFC in your vocabulary?

If you want companionship, you build it.

But if you lead with that needy desire, then you'll fall for any dumb chick who smells nice and lets you fuck her. Raise your standards, and respect yourself. You ar the prize and you are willing to go a liftime without companionship, if it means not ending up with a lousy broad who brings drama to your life regularly.

That's my point.

Stay in the game. Keep your mind sharp. Have your emotions, but don't let them cloud your judgment and limit your true goals.
Look, I know what I want and won't compromise for a pussy again. I did it in the past, not again. I do have the desire for sex but I'm not that needy. I'm probably needier compared to someone who already has 2-3 FBs. Still, I'm not needy I just want to know how these things work because I'm a noob in dating. My questions are still open regarding the logistics of second dates.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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Don't follow a word I said or will ever say on this site or others, it'll turn you into a leader not a follower"?
If you follow what I say, you'll become a leader of men and women. Pretty straight-forward. Beware!

So what does the term "boyfriend" means here? Does it mean a monogamous AFC in your vocabulary?
All men who don't lead their women are "AFCs". I don't use these terms anymore though, they're red-pill BS and only confuse things. Just be a man who leads with a dominant frame. You'll never be sucker like 98% of men dating.

My questions are still open regarding the logistics of second dates.
BIG QUESTION. Read the material so you get the full setup and execution and mindset. The gist, be dominant, lead, and never supplicate.

You'll have to determine logistics based on your intentions, budget, and local activities.

Me? All my second dates are pizza, but again, I date differently.
 

Gulliver

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If you follow what I say, you'll become a leader of men and women. Pretty straight-forward. Beware!
Thanks for explaining what you meant.

All men who don't lead their women are "AFCs". I don't use these terms anymore though, they're red-pill BS and only confuse things. Just be a man who leads with a dominant frame. You'll never be sucker like 98% of men dating.
You avoided answering my question bro :)

BIG QUESTION. Read the material so you get the full setup and execution and mindset. The gist, be dominant, lead, and never supplicate.
You'll have to determine logistics based on your intentions, budget, and local activities.
Me? All my second dates are pizza, but again, I date differently.
Which material? Do you mean Caleb's get sex fast book? I do understand your point about being dominant and leading, yet that's not an actually tangible tip for the logistics. What do you mean when you say all your second dates are pizza? Do you not follow Caleb's two dates model?
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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You avoided answering my question bro :)
You don't always get what you want the way you want. Welcome to life. It's full of suffering, and only you can make it worthwhile.

that's not an actually tangible tip for the logistics. What do you mean when you say all your second dates are pizza? Do you not follow Caleb's two dates model?
Brother figure it out. Logistics are space and time. Where can you go and what can you do? The book outlines it well enough, besides that we can't do it for you.

I don't follow the model you're using so I can't give you much insight that will help you reach your goal here. That's why it's important you commit to the process as it's laid out, and in your case, you've deviated from it a lot by dating some one so far away. Now that you can't change it, you have to be smart and make it work ya dig? Or accept the loss and move forward within the system.
 
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