I'm too stoic

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
Recently I've been taking better care of my health, fitness, appearance and mindset and as a result I see women are more attracted to me on a primal level. As an aside if you feel you're invincible and can go through a stone wall, women will be attracted to you like never before. This is about determination, self certainty and more. Some call it killer instinct.

But there is still the conversation barrier between the primal attraction and getting laid. Women like happy flirtatious guys and I've become so stoic. I used to be better; I think some bad experiences in the past and not living a happy life has got under my skin.

For the record I've known stoic guys who were good with girls. For example I had a classmate who was basically a psychopath and emotionally blank who was very good with girls. But he could be flirtatious too like once he told a girl "You look like a handsome lad".

Being flirtatious is not about what you say but about how you see the world. To not take things and people serious and be able to laugh at them and at yourself. But I seem to have become strung up with a lot of concerns and plans. Probably defensive too. Not sure how to reverse this trend.

I think the combination of being stoic (emotionally unmoved) and being playful and funny would be the killer combo.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
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Mar 11, 2019
Messages
356
I think the combination of being stoic (emotionally unmoved) and being playful and funny would be the killer combo.
Aka - Being a man

Nailed it. Make this your goal... to be a man who isn't reactive but proactive and assertive so he can lways handle his business without doubt. THe same kind of man who can have fun wherever he is because he's relaxed enough to never take himself to serious. Likewise, only spend time with men and women who don't push you out of this frame.

Nature calls this masculinity.

So Man Up Brother.
 

Pickle Rick

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Messages
24
Alexx

Don't overthink it.

Just relax.

Take things in slow motion when in social situations.

Universally, this is attractive to women.

Continue to improve yourself physically and mentally.

Just start with simple things.

In most cases, if a girl likes you she likes you and the less you say the better for fear of fucking things up by saying something that will ruin your lay.

Your "emotionally blank" friend wins girls because that is a form of being outcome independent.

Witty comments are good but don't go overboard.
 

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
Alexx

Don't overthink it.

Just relax.

Take things in slow motion when in social situations.

Universally, this is attractive to women.

Continue to improve yourself physically and mentally.

Just start with simple things.

In most cases, if a girl likes you she likes you and the less you say the better for fear of fucking things up by saying something that will ruin your lay.

Your "emotionally blank" friend wins girls because that is a form of being outcome independent.

Witty comments are good but don't go overboard.

I see what you're saying bro but even when the girl likes you you still have some work to do in terms of convo (unless you're famous or she is desperate or things like that). If there's context, like meeting at a party, that's easier but still. Like today I went to a cafe and the barista seemed to like me, from her body language and eye contact. I complimented her on her Christmas dress and she appreciated it but then I was mute. So in this case (and countless others) I may have had a chance but didn't now how to push things forward. Naturals and good PUAs are very good at engaging other in convo, and not just chitchat but convo that goes deep into the psyche of the other person.

I basically need a system for convo both with guys and girls. With girls I want to attract them, build comfort, close. With guys I want to get to know them and make friends with them. And I want to be able to talk my way in that direction (provided they somewhat like me).
 

HermitBob

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
35
Ask questions, take an interest in people. Everyone has something you've never seen before. If you want a "system" then I guess...

1. Ask question

2. Pick out a word from thier answer to bounce off and either ask another question or make a random observation

3. If all else fails talk about whatever comes to mind. No need to smooth transition or whatever the fuck.

You can't force wit. You either got it or you got your work cut out to learn it. Being engaging is easy however.


How to make friends and influence people is a classic book for a reason.
 

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
Ask questions, take an interest in people. Everyone has something you've never seen before. If you want a "system" then I guess...

1. Ask question

2. Pick out a word from thier answer to bounce off and either ask another question or make a random observation

3. If all else fails talk about whatever comes to mind. No need to smooth transition or whatever the fuck.

You can't force wit. You either got it or you got your work cut out to learn it. Being engaging is easy however.


How to make friends and influence people is a classic book for a reason.
Thanks bro. I need to get better at coming up with a follow up fast. Practice.
 

HermitBob

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
35
Thanks bro. I need to get better at coming up with a follow up fast. Practice.
No worries, word of warning though, don't go overboard with drilling someone with questions like an interview. Always better to be relaxed than "cool". Still, on dates better they do the vast majority of talking, figure out what gets them talking and it's smooth sailing.
 

Lex

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2019
Messages
44
I can relate to you in a sense.

Quick backdrop: 20 year old me, broken up, lost, confused, went with friends to a club (18+up and 21+ gets a wrist band to drink). With no option, I was sober as fuck. This was a 3 story club. About 600 people there. Walking in tiny staircase up or down that night 4 hot random girls, grabbed me by my shirt and started making out with me. Girls walking with their boyfriends, grabbing my butt and when I look they smile. It was insane. I was so out of emotion cause I kept thinking of me and my ex were how much fun she would’ve had. Instead of me, having fun.

While for whatever reason I indeed did attract these girls, and they were all hot, but to me they weren’t my ex, and me being totally cold never led me to nothing beyond those interactions of their interest. However I did see few of those girls with some guys I considered losers. But THEY were having fun and maybe even got laid. I ended up racing my Audi against a mustang at the end of the night. At 3 am picked up a friend that’s a girl and got high with while we drove around like idiots.

My last real relation with the baby mama. She FOUGHT, for a connection again. It was so bad that I didn’t respond to get with any emotion, and I would say “I’m so busy, I just ordered Jimmy Johns and this sandwich is great!”... it was so bad, she kept asking me about the damn sandwich, to send her a picture etc, just to get me to emotionally talk about a stupid sandwich. It took me 2 days to order another same sandwich, to sent her a pic of it, and tell her how I’m so full, I’m ready to fall asleep, when in reality I was way in no way about to connect with her. She ended up cheating, lying, and breaking up by saying she loves me as a person, but isn’t emotionally attracted to me, this was 2 weeks later after the sandwich.

I didn’t want friendship, plus to me she did such a horrible thing in my eyes, but yet she did a favor for me in reality.

I learned I am way too stoic, but I also learned that I can’t control that, and if I tried to be emotionally connected I would either be non authentic, which is bad for all parties, or I would forget about what I want in my life.

I’ve always been like this. When I was younger (I’m 30 recently), I was just fun, attractive, always nice car (I love cars), I did music, and it attracted women. Now that I’m older, I still have nice cars, I work, I have a kid that I want to make sure succeeds, and have different goals in life than before, that will cross any narcissistic line which I’m not afraid to admit.

But I’m not fun, I look at women for sex, instead of connection because I realized I could never had an authentic connection with a woman, have sex, succeed in what I want (which is higher than a good job, house, car, kids, and a 6 pack with a football game on after work).

So, you either have to accept being like this, or you will be miserable. You have to KNOW what you want from a women, and get it for YOURSELF.

I wanted a child from a woman, a woman that will love the child, and has good personal hygiene, etc. My baby mama has amazing personal hygiene, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t get drunk, doesn’t go around sleeping with randoms, and ice breaker was to bring her hamster when we met to a get away, the same hamster that she hid from her college, cause no pet policy.

Perfect woman for me to have a child with. Never the one to get drunk with, and do crazy shit. Not the ambitious type to make something, just a woman looking for a BETA to provide her a house, be kind to her, which will text her for her emotional connection, that she will give shit tests to without fear of losing him.

Why did she have a kid with me? While understanding me through actions she did feel attracted sexually, and wanted a kid with a guy like me. Our child is bigger than most kids physically, smart, no health issues or whatever. Good looking kid, that’s strong and smart actually. She knows I would never do for her what the guy she’s with does (commitment), but she knows tomorrow I would burn her and him in public if they did something to our kid.

What did me and her get from each other? She reproduced with what I consider a strong male. A male that will always love her as his mother as long as he’s caring, so she has a future male (non sexual) that will biologically take care of her.

What did I get? I got a son, with a woman I know won’t leave him for drugs, makes sure he is up to with hygiene, etc (all the good things).

Me and her cannot talk, I want to fuck her brains out, and not talk, she wants commitment. So we withhold sex and commitment, and therefore have no purpose of talking.

But we both truly got what we wanted from each other.

What does she get from the dude she with? Not even a year in, she gets a house, she feels emotionally connected because he so concerned about her, and is an idiot that will give her whatever legally she wants, including not having kids with him because she tells him she really wants to save money, build her career blah blah.


What does he get? Well if you’re 28 and go with a mother of a toddler that you met at work, and do all these things you’re clearly missing something no matter how nice you are. So he gets guaranteed pussy, he gets to not feel alone, he gets to feel like a father, and he will gladly pay for it, otherwise he would’ve been having his own, or spinning plates.


This is pure logic. Emotionally I should be devastated. But knowing myself, how stoic I am, what you say how you are. I learned to get what I want by knowing who I’m dealing with.

You have to come to terms with that. As immoral, as however someone wants to paint it in a negative way, you have to know yourself, and get what you want if it’s worth it, you’ll find ways to return enough.

If your idea of being emotionally unmoved is a problem than you have to get in touch with your own emotions, cause yes we have them too.

These are the same emotions that will guide you to what you want from a female. A child? Just sex? You want to be mad and rape a woman? I don’t agree with that, but if your emotions guide you with that, you will do it.

From some women, you just want a cool ass chick to hang with, and laugh with. But you’d never do nothing more. With some women you want to just fuck in the bathroom, and never see again, and from some women you want to reproduce with, and with someone women you wanna just have sex, regularly and that’s it. Your GUIDELINES will lead them to that, and as long as they feel certain, secure, and so on with those boundaries you’ll be ok.

So many women, have a perfect man. Caring, successful, takes care of himself, loyal, and yet.... they want a man to fuck them in the ass and stick it in their mouth, and give them a slap, pee on their face... make up running down the face, then pulled by their hair to looo in the mirror and say how much of a whore they are. Problem is, most men can’t keep their mouth shut, so they just sit there with their forces thoughts of how they have a good husband blah blah.

It takes a men with stoic personality, that wants nothing from her such as to leave her husband tomorrow, call her names, stalk her, do crazy shit that will jeopardize her walls of security.

If you can know what you want, you can get it. Most women will feel out a guy before they do ANYTHING. Rather it’s commitment and a white picket fence, or someone to fuck them in the ass, put it in their mouth, etc and keep his mouth shut, or just be a cool dude they can have a coffee with and bullshit around. Majority of men come to impress women, and get turned down rather it’s marriage, sex, or even a friendship.

There’s no such thing as being too stoic. There’s only being emotionally unmoved by whatever she chooses to do, and you knowing what will give you the emotion of success to get what you want, sex, kid, plates, friendships, etc.

Let others play their emotions, and lie for validation. Come to terms with yourself. If you didn’t have a problem with women, they wouldn’t be attracted to you. If you want more from them than they can give you and you shy away, that’s your problem, but clearly you do want women, and you do want things, so from now on look at women that do come to you, o get what you want, and whatever they do once it comes down to what YOU want, you just stay emotionally unmoved.
 
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