My life

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
Before long I'll be 40. I grew up in the third world and to go up the ladder I had to go all the way up the academic credential rank. Fortunately a STEM major but one that kept me in the academia. Huge mistake.
It wasn't that my parents came here. I did it all myself. But then things didn't turn out the way I expected. I got depressed, I lost my vision. I wasted so much of my life. It took me a long time and it was through reading folks like Caleb and forums like this that I started to come back to life.

But now I'm in a weird situation. Nearly 40, spent so much time on my degree and useless academic job, not developing my social and romance life enough. Now I want to quit my job and move to the corporate world and to a more interesting place to live. That in itself needs a lot of work AND that still is not anything great, like having my own businesses.


Sometimes I think maybe life can be simpler. Maybe it's me who is making his life complicated. Like, I read Caleb's book on online dating and the chapter on photos alone makes me think "OMG why does it have to be so complicated?!" (I know "why" it is like that but that's irrelevant.) On the business side, BD's business model doesn't seem complicated. So I guess I really am making things more complicated that they need to be.
 

Papi Knox

Papi Knox
Staff member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
357
Like, I read Caleb's book on online dating and the chapter on photos alone makes me think "OMG why does it have to be so complicated?!" (I know "why" it is like that but that's irrelevant.) On the business side, BD's business model doesn't seem complicated. So I guess I really am making things more complicated that they need to be.
I'm sure complicated isn't the right word here

More so that you're coming to terms with the reality of the next steps and how much work you need to do to get positive results

Tough, just the way it is

New things seem daunting and you'll stumble

Adopt the mindset of a newborn

He doesn't get upset when he tries to walk and he falls

He gets back up and goes for another stroll

Does this thousands of times before he's walking

Before he's running

Plus that child knows, as you should know too

That the more you commit to the process and do the work, the quicker you get to the consistent positive results that will make it worth it

You know your life can be better, you have a proven system, you've seen the results of others here, now use it all to your advantage

That's all the faith you need Brother

We'll help you along the way with mindset, tactics, and troubleshooting
 

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
Thanks brother, I appreciate it. Apart from trial and error I need to sit down and decide how I want my relationship to the world to be in terms of business/money, social and women life and residence. I can't be haphazard with this anymore.

My birthday was a few days ago, close to NYE. Why not write a list of the things that I need to resolve here for everyone to see? This way I can get feedback as well. I try to keep negativity to a minimum.

1-Physical health. This is a huge issue with fatigue, mental fog and anemia. It's to an extent genetic. In the last 2-3 years I've been feeling so bad that I've even been thinking of early retirement. But quite some days I feel good. I'm thinking it can, to a large extent, be remedied with dirt, supplements and workout and I'm researching this. Sleep is another big issue. I keep skipping my cardio workout too which I shouldn't. It's difficult to work out when I wake up and feel like shit but I've figured I need to break the vicious cycle.

2-Mental health. Isolation and irrelevance (not having an impact on the world) have been big issues throughout my life. This is one of the reasons I'm quitting my job and moving (hopefully) to an interesting city. A man needs to impact the world otherwise he dies. Discipline, motivation, time management and persistence are problems too, especially in the presence of fatigue.


Staying positive especially with others is a huge issue too. It's difficult to be positive when you're fucking tired and and isolated too. But again, the key to winning others is to be upbeat and confident. Breaking the cycle again.

Isolation is something that perpetuates itself. It's happened several times that I was hitting it off with an attractive girl but I bailed out as if I was expecting her to pull the trigger. Doing shit like this and then pursuing girls who were not into me.
On one hand I don't like to be isolated but on the other I am (seem to be) scared that others would become a nuisance. Strange.

3-Job/business. This is related to relevance, and to the mission. Like I said I'm moving to a different profession (more useful/impactful and human interaction) but that is still complicated. With my fatigue I wonder I can succeed in it. But get that feeling almost about anything. Gotta fight! But still I envy people who's lives and professions are not too complicated such as our own BD.

This is related something which I would call one's foundation. It's their tangible work and legacy (includes family as well). I don't have much foundation (even though I know a lot and have tried a lot) and this scares me. I'm scared of dying and not leaving a legacy.

Here are a few other directions I've been pursuing:

Online sales: I'd like to have an online shop for selling expensive accessories or the like. I've been thinking about trying this in Colombia which could win me their residence permit as well.

Blog: I have a blog for helping depressed people and telling my story. I do it anonymously because I share some deeply personal stuff there. The articles I write are long and I'm very slow in writing them. Blame mental fog and being busy. I've been trying to publish an article a month...

My autobiography: I've been through a lot and have seen a lot; believe me. It's gonna be quite a lot of work to write this. I have a lot of snippets already but need to put them together in an engaging way. It'll contain my views on life, philosophy and politics and can actually be my legacy!

Music: It's a big dream of mine to become a singer.

But then the fatigue together with isolation often make forget my dreams; they make me feel like someone who is falling asleep outside in the cold........Wake up Alex...wake up Alex...
 
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HermitBob

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
35
1-Too little details on the genetic to comment much, but good rule of thumb for health is first sort sleep and sun exposure, then sort diet, then sort exercise, after that sometimes the gut health needs a tweak. Most things pretty much fall into place after that. Keep away from blue light at night, stick to regular bedtime and waking hours including on weekends (7-9 hours sleep), get some sun in the morning, etc etc. Keto can help for many mental health problems, high seafood consumption is good for the omega 3s for depression.

2- Fatigue saps willpower, which saps discipline. Fix health first and don't beat yourself up for falling short of targets when you're too damn tired to function. Once you have health, work on a mission.

Isolation- Be tired, have poor mental health, social skills suffer.

3- "I envy people who's lives and professions are not too complicated such as our own BD." So figure out your own perfect life, then figure out steps to achieve that. Dream big, research and find simple and actionable advice, then follow to the best of your ability.

"My autobiography: I've been through a lot and have seen a lot; believe me. It's gonna be quite a lot of work to write this. I have a lot of snippets already but need to put them together in an engaging way. It'll contain my views on life, philosophy and politics and can actually be my legacy!"

Ok so what I'm going to say about this isn't an attack by any means but...this might genuinely be a waste of your time. Many people go through hardship, and their views are not necessarily worth any more than the other billion opinions out there. People buy things based on how it will benefit them (some biographies are bought for entertainment, are you a truly and amazingly entertaining or engaging writer? Some are bought because the buyer wants to be like/as successful as the subject, as you aren't happy with your own life I can assume this isn't perhaps the best angle). Literally everyone has views on life, philosophy and politics, vanishingly few people give a shit about anyone else's opinion on these things, even fewer people if anyone would give half a damn about any one of ours. It's very much a trap you can fall into as you get older, I have so much wisdom to pass on everyone must hear it (except much of that wisdom is based on survivor bias, is increasingly irrelevant based on changing times, is formulated on tiny sample sizes of situations, is shone through a lens of personal/cultural/situational bias). Personally I take advice and wisdom only from specialists in their field (whatever that may be), chances are you are one in a certain field and would be better to write about that.

I personally don't stress the whole legacy thing. Process not product, if it happens it happens. If my mission leaves a mark, great, but I'm still buried in the dirt afterwards and people will forget me as a person. Can you name all your great grandfathers? What was Alexander the Great's personality like? Was he a funny guy? Don't waste the time you have worrying about everything that comes after that.

Music: It's a big dream of mine to become a singer.

Go for it, now we're talking.
Solo musician? You'll need to learn an instrument too. Generally either guitar, piano, or electronic mixing. Good for woman life too, but not terribly social compared to other options.
Join a band? Bands always need singers, good social contact, good for woman life, but potential for drama in the band is high. It's hard work.
Join a choir? Great social contact, but from the choir demographic I've seen not great for boosting your woman life (although a well socialised guy has better interpersonal skills so indirectly helps).

Don't assume you'll make money with music. Hope if you want, but don't plan for it.

But then the fatigue together with isolation often make forget my dreams; they make me feel like someone who is falling asleep outside in the cold........Wake up Alex...wake up Alex...

Yea best to sort that fatigue first. Can't drive the car anywhere with no gas.
 

Alexx

Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
35
A lot of things to talk about but for my health the number one thing is having nutritious meat based meals 3-4 times a day. Because of the disorder I have nutrients are depleted from my body fast. For me even avocados or almond butter can be junk food because they don't have that much nutrition and the calories they give prevent me from getting more nutritious foods.

I have a couple of simple meat based recipes but I need more.
 
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