RE: The ONE THING Keeping You From What You Want

[EncryptedToast]

Hi all - first post here and thought I would use it to redirect a topic I started in the comment section of this Blog Post - here
Trying to communicate in a comment section on a rolling blog is not efficient. Anyhoo... here is my original post:

Could use some input on this:
I’m a recovering “niceguy”. Discovering No More Mr Nice Guy and this very blog has changed my life. It’s been about a 7 year journey so far and my sex life its better than its ever been. Was married for almost 20 years to a woman I was barely attracted to. That ended and a very inexperienced “me” learned some pretty tough lessons on the dating front. (sound familiar, BD?) No more Captain Save a Ho for me and the difference has been astounding. That part of my life is in really great shape right now so am concentrating on other things.

Where I am struggling is the Job part. Been in IT for a long time, have about 20 years under my belt. And I hate it. Scratch that, I DESPISE it. Love technology, hate the type of people/work hours/red tape/politics and being a corporate slave. And the past few years have been terrible – I keep getting kicked out the door for “Financial” reasons. I lost my job in March right before all the fun started, found something that I thought was going to be a good fit and 4 months later – same fucking thing. Im jobless again.

So this particular crossroads is where I am at. Sure I could find another corporate whore job, and either get kicked out again or end up doing the exact opposite of what we are trying to accomplish here. No thanks. Im tired of that game, obviously I need to do something different and I took a gamble and bought the Maximum Freedom course right before the sale ended. Am about half way through it so I dont know where that is going to lead but so far looks promising.
Thing is, I dont even know where to go from here. Sure I would like to be Caleb Jr and have multiple income streams, own a home on a mountain, work less than 40 hrs a week and all that. I know nothing at all about owning a business. I dont even know what business I could possibly start.

Anyone else in this particular boat? My emotions are in good shape (other than the stress of being jobless) and I am motivated enough to know that I need to make a change. My abilities can always improve but with my track record in the IT field I am not even sure I want to keep going down that road. So…start over. Im 53. It could be done, but again – I wouldn’t even know what to start over with. Everyone I talk to has all the answers; just do something different! Which is reasonable enough I guess, but when I stop and think about what else I could do for a living – nothing comes to mind. Not a damn thing, just vague “IT type stuff” and I doubt that is enough of a mission statement to get a lemonade stand off the ground let alone a part of this multi stream income I should be shooting for.

Is there also a course on business ideas or are we on our own for that part?
=======================================================

There have been some great responses and I would like to retain them here:

AlphaOmega :
Maybe I am missing something but being in IT at least to me is one of the easiest possible things to do independently. There is absolutely no reason why you need to be in an office and thus location dependent or why you have to be employed traditionally if you are doing IT especially if you are very good and experienced.

Leon :
You seem to have tons of experience in IT. Not sure what Max Free packet you’ve bought but if it doesn’t help and in case you think going consulting is an interesting idea, I would suggest Caleb’s Consulting Course (make sure you get the But I’m Not Good At Anything Bonus, it helps tremendously in finding the niche/industry for your business).

You can also listen to his #2 Coaching Call clip on Youtube for an idea on how consulting and finding your niche work in general, it’s free and also very good.

And of course BD himself:

My business course helps with that but honestly if you have literally no idea what you want to do with your life I would figure that out first. You’ve got Max Freedom so you have a blueprint to do that. And at age 53, I would hurry up with it.

=======================================================

Yep. No time to waste. I have wasted enough already.

Ok first things first - I will def check out that #2 coaching clip and continue on with the Max Freedom course.

Noting rule #2 here - Don’t be a whiny little bitch - what I am about to say is just the honest truth, there is no whining here.

Even though I have been in IT a long time, I dont really have marketable skills. I made the mistake of coasting for too long with technologies that are in very low demand, if at all these days. Now those that are not familiar with Information Technology have a very simplified and often warped idea of what it entails; from my boomer-ish dad with "Oh man you can do anything if you know computers!" to my helpful but woefully ignorant friends going on and on about how "great" companies like Amazon and Google are hiring. Yea, I would rather shovel shit than become a part of that cesspit. I liken it to my own ignorance with say, the medical field. Just saying "I am in the medical profression" doesnt mean a whole lot; it could be anything from a brain surgeon to one of those stoner beach bum dudes that take blood samples. Are they the same thing? Do they draw from the same skillset? I highly doubt it although maybe that brain surgeon started out as said beach bum....

So here I am, at 53 with an aging skill set and was too stupid/distracted/lazy to keep on on certs and emerging technology. So when I look at whats available, or when recruiters contact me, I see all sorts of things I have ZERO experience with and most of them never even heard of. For a while a few years ago I tried the "Well this is hot and going to get hotter, so I better learn it" only to find out that 10 more hot things replaced them by the time I am barely started.

And something else that scares me about this field (I know, fear...meh) is the cheap labor available over seas. I'm not exaggerating when I say that in two of the last positions I lost I had spent the previous 6 months - 1 year training my replacements. The first time it happened was sort of a joke around the office - then it turned out to be true. I know this sounds like blackpilling but its just what I have observed. Firsthand.

How would doing this as an independent, even if I had a freaking clue on where to start, be any different? In the IT field anyway...

Ok that sounds like excuses but I dont know how else to frame this; maybe I am just the poster boy for the Peter Principle and Im fooked now. But thats not what AM2.0 is all about, is it?

Onward!

 

[AlphaOmega]

Training a replacement is always a mistake.

 

[EncryptedToast]

Training a replacement is always a mistake.

I dont disagree. But what are the alternatives in the corporate whore setting?

• tell your boss to fuck off and refuse to train them. Look for a new job.
• train them and eventually look for a new job.

Now that I see it in print this is exactly where I am at by choosing option #2. I've never been in a position to take option #1. That's the dream, isn't it. Not that it matters much because both produce the same results in the end.

What about you, do you have any alternatives to offer that do not involve losing said job?

 

[AlphaOmega]

There are of course more options but I think I see your problem. You sound like a typical corporate employee who is scared to go out of line and that I think is precisely why you continue getting screwed over.

Of course, you can just not train him without telling your boss anything. You can tell your boss in a more diplomatic way you will not do it. You can do it but badly. And so on and so on. There are like thousands of options how to handle this. Some of them good options others bad.

Of course you could also just start to look for a new job right away. Though in my view and experience the people who do not train the replacement will often stay because then you arent so easy to fire.

In my experience there is also a very specific type of person who always gets asked to train replacement and a very specific type of person who will never get asked to do that. Of course it has to do with attitude, mindset and function and the relationship with others within the company. Indeed there are people who the management will never dare to ask to train replacement, they will either stay in the function or they will be fired but without being asked to train a replacement. So obviously the problem starts with your attitude and mindset.

One of the many reasons to my belief why the salaries were stagnating is that nowadays the typical employee is a wuss who does not dare to make demands. You do not get a raise for being a good employee you get it by asking for it + having position of leverage and knowing how to use it. In one of my previous jobs I had a salary increase twice during a year and half I worked there and the third time they fired me instead but by then I had arranged things in such a way it was almost advantageous to me, though not quite as much as it could have been (that was a bit of shortsightedness on my part).

So indeed you have to arrange things to protect yourself - push for better contracts and or for a clause in contract that if they need to let you go they need to give a very long notice or pay you a severance pay and make it a lot. If you push for this in the right way and at the right time you will often get it, sometimes only because they don't see they will get rid of you but of course later when they will its gonna cost them a lot.

Or better yet be independent. Work with agencies but as a freelancer its not like when you are in IT you need to be an employee.

You talk that your skills are outdated but I am sure you can do programming quite well and or webdesign or some tech support or similar. Those are things that you can freelance quite easily location independently for good money via agencies. Just find a load of agencies and hit them up and discuss how to cooperate and what kind of rates they can offer.

Alternatively you must realize that nowadays there are thousands of companies absolutely desperate for people with IT skills to the point that they sometimes say you only need to have the uptitude and interest to learn and they will teach you the rest. The reason of course is a hiring bubble in IT and the fact that there simply arent enough people interested or able to do programming for the number of positions. Of course this is because most of these companies will fail as they think they can make easy money making some useless software no one will use but its probably the easiest way to get jobs / contracts right now. If you have a decent track record with a lot of programming and general IT skills you can probably eaisly command a huge salary / freelancer rate.

 

[EncryptedToast]

Hold up a minute -

There are of course more options but I think I see your problem. You sound like a typical corporate employee who is scared to go out of line and that I think is precisely why you continue getting screwed over.

I'm not sure if I am clear on what I mean by "Training my replacement". If I gave the impression it goes something like this:

Boss: Hey I want you to teach this guy everything you know. When you are done, go find another job.

Thats way off and its never been that obvious. Its more like this: (real example)

New additions start popping up on the team. At one place it was people from Manilla. At another it was a mixture of India and China. It doesn't matter where, they are all cheap labor.

Nobody is right out told "Train these guys to replace you!". They are part of the team now. They are doing the same things the rest of us are doing. Most of the time (in my experience) they are not very good at it, these are obviously just cheap cattle.

At first its great because these groups are in a different time zone so they handle the off hours (to us) stuff.

Eventually, in my experience its usually about a year out, there is a slash on the team and guess who is left .....

Just wanted to clarify this.

Of course you could also just start to look for a new job right away. Though in my view and experience the people who do not train the replacement will often stay because then you arent so easy to fire.

No offense meant here, but do you have any experience in the corporate world? "Easy to fire" is - every body. Nobody is irreplaceable and all management has to do is point out "we need to save money" and the slashing starts. Sure companies suffer, but they dont seem to care all that much. Honestly I dont know how a lot of these places function any more. I will also add that in the past 2 years I have taken paycuts in the amount of $20k per year less than what I once commanded. The good news is that I found that my lifestyle didn't change one bit - so I now know the minimum I need to be happy. The bad news is, most places where I try to get in at a lower level with the potential to improve my skills consider me over qualified and are hesitant to hire me for lower rates for fear that I will bolt at the first opportunity.

You talk that your skills are outdated but I am sure you can do programming quite well and or webdesign or some tech support or similar. Those are things that you can freelance quite easily location independently for good money via agencies. Just find a load of agencies and hit them up and discuss how to cooperate and what kind of rates they can offer.

Partly correct - "programming" is a very broad term but lets assume that in this context you mean coding. That's not what I do, coding has never been a strong suite for me. I dabbled over the years and never really got a foot hold. My area has been system administration.
And I have a boat load of agencies I am working with already, have been for years. My skill set is just not that much in demand any more. At least thats the conclusion I keep coming to when all of these agencies keep trying to plug my square but into round holes because all they really want to do is get somebody placed. In fact I spend more time asking them "Why are you saying this is a a great fit for me when I have literally NONE of the skills listed here?"

Yea most of these people are incredibly stupid - I had one recruiter ask me this:

"Do you have experience in manipulating data?"

Think about that question for a minute - I did, and I asked for clarification because "manipulating data" is the most basic part of anything related to technology. Have you started a computer up? You just manipulated data. Have you ever written an email? Manipulating data. Copied a file? You guessed it - thats manipulating data.

She just didnt get why I was asking for more detail, all she had was some vague requirement to "manipulate data"

I bring that example up because its pretty common; these head hunting agencies seem to be full of either fresh college grads that know a lot of buzzwords and little else, or non-English speaking people that I can barely understand let alone figure out what they are looking for.

Alternatively you must realize that nowadays there are thousands of companies absolutely desperate for people with IT skills to the point that they sometimes say you only need to have the uptitude and interest to learn and they will teach you the rest. The reason of course is a hiring bubble in IT and the fact that there simply arent enough people interested or able to do programming for the number of positions. Of course this is because most of these companies will fail as they think they can make easy money making some useless software no one will use but its probably the easiest way to get jobs / contracts right now. If you have a decent track record with a lot of programming and general IT skills you can probably eaisly command a huge salary / freelancer rate.

As stated earlier: no programming skills (other than basic BASH scripting) but general IT skills out the wazoo. the mom and pop shops of the last 90s and early 2000s would love me but we know those days are long gone.

Recruiters/agencies/companies never say anything like "General IT skills". Its always very specific, and in my case its usually things that I have zero experience with so I might as well be an intern. Or if I do have the skills, the requirement includes 5 other things that I never worked with so I get passed right up.

 

[AlphaOmega]

Thats way off and its never been that obvious. Its more like this: (real example)

New additions start popping up on the team. At one place it was people from Manilla. At another it was a mixture of India and China. It doesn't matter where, they are all cheap labor.

Nobody is right out told "Train these guys to replace you!". They are part of the team now. They are doing the same things the rest of us are doing. Most of the time (in my experience) they are not very good at it, these are obviously just cheap cattle.

At first its great because these groups are in a different time zone so they handle the off hours (to us) stuff.

Eventually, in my experience its usually about a year out, there is a slash on the team and guess who is left .....

.... yeah thats obvious case of whats gonna happen

To me at least.

No offense meant here, but do you have any experience in the corporate world? "Easy to fire" is - every body. Nobody is irreplaceable and all management has to do is point out "we need to save money" and the slashing starts.

Yes, the 1.5 years in strictly large corporate, and much more in mid and smaller companies which yes are different. Sure it may depend on the country but it depends a lot also on your function and how you arranged your contract. Here actually counterintuitively its a huge help to be hired via agency in some cases, the corporate slashes you out and the agency sometimes has to keep paying you sometimes 100% for months while you sit at home (or travel the world). Anyway, if you wanna stay in corporate make sure you have a contract where they need to give you at least a few months notice. This will be applicable when firing for economical reasons which as you pointed out is the standard way to get rid of someone but in this case its legally impossible for them to make it shorter than the agreed number of months. They may require you to still work during those months but it will pretty damn hard to fire you earlier and certainly not worth the admin trouble if you decide to just be a lazy guy who turns up late and doesnt do his work on time etc... which means often if you had managed to negotiate such a contract they dont fire you because they know whats gonna happen . THe question then is HOW to get such a contract. The answer is you need to be tough and time it right. I got that in the last job because I asked for it quite strongly at a time when it would have been disastorous if I suddenly left from the project I was currently on and that is what I had implied quite strongly.

Sure companies suffer, but they dont seem to care all that much. Honestly I dont know how a lot of these places function any more.

They don't. A lot of these companies are slowly collapsing. Or surviving from subsidies from your tax money. BD once made an article about it titled corporate welfare or something like this.

I will also add that in the past 2 years I have taken paycuts in the amount of $20k per year less than what I once commanded.

Yep, that is a mistake, I understand sometimes its unavoidable but try not to do that it just underlies your price on the market. You always should aim for higher salary PLUS inflation.

Partly correct - "programming" is a very broad term but lets assume that in this context you mean coding.

I have to smile a bit now because to people who are not programmers programming and coding is identical. I was once at a job interview where it turned out they expected some programming from the position so I was explaining to them that I had no interest in to do any kind of programming as part of the job whatsoever. The guy replied that its not programming just some coding. It was really awkward. I then told the story to coworkers and friends from various background and they all laughed saying its the same stuff. The bottom line is for people who dont wanna do this stuff IT IS IDENTICAL and that is precisely the problem all these companies are facing: they cannot find people who are willing to do this.

"Why are you saying this is a a great fit for me when I have literally NONE of the skills listed here?"

Yea most of these people are incredibly stupid - I had one recruiter ask me this:

Yes that is accurate and common. You just need to clarify your profile. Once I did a job that was titled as function developer as an offical job. Was kinda an engineering position developing new products from function side but what I actually eneded up doing there was more like material science consulting. I kept getting hit up by people who were looking for programmers because they thought developer means someone who wants to do coding. Extremely far away from what I did and wanted to do. So you probably need to change the wording on your CV big time if you keep running into this.

Recruiters/agencies/companies never say anything like "General IT skills". Its always very specific, and in my case its usually things that I have zero experience with so I might as well be an intern. Or if I do have the skills, the requirement includes 5 other things that I never worked with so I get passed right up.

Yes, so if you wanna continue being an employee you do need to work on your CV wording. Or maybe you even need to work on what you actually wanna do. Put down what you actually wanna do and what it involves and make it both specific and general. Then look again at your CV and change the wording to make it match.

This is niche marketing in a nutshell and its how you get jobs also.

 

[Leon]

So here I am, at 53 with an aging skill set and was too stupid/distracted/lazy to keep on on certs and emerging technology.

That's great news! Since it's your fault, it's totally in your power to change it.

"Well this is hot and going to get hotter, so I better learn it" only to find out that 10 more hot things replaced them by the time I am barely started.

I know IT is an ever-changing industry but something is wrong with your research. There must be IT fields that will do well for the next 10 or 20 years (AI comes to mind, also Big Data...). If you ain't good at seeing the trend, get help, ask the others (experts, gurus, capable buddies...)

And something else that scares me about this field (I know, fear...meh) is the cheap labor available over seas.

This is damn right and a very legit concern, so look for something that's hard to be replaced by cheap labor oversea or try to compensate for that by other business aspects, like customer service, unique selling point...

 

[Pickle Rick]

Definitely!

Sounds like you are in a stage where it will take some research to see what you are drawn to, what is feasible, and what will ultimately work. I think you can make it work.

I got all fired up after reading your post and wrote some things that probably don't pertain but I'll leave them anyway. Maybe someone else will benefit.

The thing is if you work for someone else you are sacrificing something. Happiness. Freedom. Probably a lot of both. On the other hand you have to take a risk and get out of the so-called comfort zone to work for yourself. The brainwashing is get a job, contribute, and other bullshit. Work. Mostly motivations by fear: see Fight Club (1999) for a rather poignant criticism of our modern lives.

The antidote for all of this: Alpha 2 lifestyle. Watch the videos. Read the blogs. Spend some time on this. I watch them many times.

As for women. Been there too. There's a scarcity thing in the United States of late. For me personally, it's dried up. Don't know why. I'm fit, dress well, and have money. Maybe because I actually dress nice (think John Wick). I'm not really into obese white trash, crazy cunts (huge majority of the U.S. demographic), office girls, or tattoos. That leaves a very narrow demographic. Now, I'm going to paradoxically state that I'll choose strippers over any of that shit, nine times out of ten. They have the body. Yeah, sometimes they have the tattoos so it's a tradeoff, but I just find it more fun and easier to manage things with them. You know what to expect. And it is much, much more fun outside of the United States. Try Bangkok or Mexico for starters. Cheaper too. Actually, just about any place outside of Europe and Australia is going to be remarkably cheaper--with a few exceptions.

But you are trying to function and thrive in a system that does not want you to do well. It doesn't give a fuck about you. There are layers upon layers of bullshit that you don't even realize until you get so fucking sick of it all. As an example, you are punished for saving your money and every day you are told how great the stock market is doing. With all these subtle hints, clues, and manipulations that make you feel like you ain't shit unless you got money in the market.

Perhaps you can detach from the yoke that holds you down. Many cannot. But if you are single and young (under 40) you have a better chance.

Don't take anything for face values these days. Not me. Not this forum. Not the news. Not anyone or anything.

Feel it in your gut.

Get so fucking angry that you decide to do something about it.

 

[AlphaOmega]

Hold up a minute -

We haven't heard from you since then. I wonder if the replies you received you have found useful? How are things going since then?

 

[EncryptedToast]

We haven't heard from you since then. I wonder if the replies you received you have found useful? How are things going since then?

Thanks - not much has changed. I appreciate all the replies but to be honest this is the one that sticks with me the most:

BlackDragon said:

My business course helps with that but honestly if you have literally no idea what you want to do with your life I would figure that out first. You’ve got Max Freedom so you have a blueprint to do that. And at age 53, I would hurry up with it.

This about sums up where I am at - and why I am struggling with depression with not a single clue on how to proceed. I'm no spring chicken any more, I wish i would have had access to this information sooner. Not to blackpill, its just a fact. As sort of a hail mary I decided to buy the MF course, which may not have been the best use of my limited and dwindling funds but lesson learned.

 

[TheMaleBrain]

This about sums up where I am at - and why I am struggling with depression with not a single clue on how to proceed. I'm no spring chicken any more, I wish i would have had access to this information sooner. Not to blackpill, its just a fact. As sort of a hail mary I decided to buy the MF course, which may not have been the best use of my limited and dwindling funds but lesson learned.

Not in the same place, but was "somewhere" there before.
You have all those people with their vision, and I had none.

What you do (an option) is to join someone else's dream, until you have yours.

 

[Papi Knox]

This about sums up where I am at - and why I am struggling with depression with not a single clue on how to proceed. I'm no spring chicken any more, I wish i would have had access to this information sooner. Not to blackpill, its just a fact. As sort of a hail mary I decided to buy the MF course, which may not have been the best use of my limited and dwindling funds but lesson learned.

Depression isn't real.

Choose to be healthy and it ends.

In this case, you're "depressed" because your life sucks, which is unnatural.

What are you going to do to make it not suck?

This is not rhetroical.

What are you going to do RIGHT NOW to improve your mind body and/or your relationships and/or your ability to earn?