Thoughts on Jealousy

TheDan

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2019
Messages
20
I was thinking about this today. With any of my "plates", I have little to no jealousy thinking about them seeing or sleeping with other guys. However, with my ex-LTR, I still have very strong feelings of jealousy thinking about her sleeping with new people. I am trying to figure out why, so I can solve it.

Maybe it is because the amount of time we were together (over 5 years)? That allowed attachment hormones to develop and maybe that is the reason for the jealous feelings.

Maybe it is a sunk cost fallacy problem?

Any thoughts on this?
 

lenox

Caveman lenox
Staff member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
162
Dwelling on this topic is the problem

A man who wants to grow doesn't look at the past

Rather, he determines how he wants to handle his present in different ways so he can have a better future

Do that

Focus on the man you want to be, and how he handles jealousy

You already know this answer since you're living it

Once you have that tangible understadning in you mind, you act like this from now on Brother

Be the man you want to be instead of thinking about the man you once were

Let go of the past

Continue your story on your terms, not your younger self's insecurities

Same approach is how addicts overcome their addictions to the past as well
 

Magok

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
10
Is ok and normal to feel some jealousy, but it is just a feeling. That feeling is part of our obsolete biological instincts spiced up with the social programing that says that cheating is the worst kind of treason.

What really matters is what you do with those feelings

check these Caleb's post: https://blackdragonblog.com/2013/10/05/the-five-stages-of-fear-2/ this have some good visualization exercise that could help you overcome jealousy.

and

https://blackdragonblog.com/2019/04/08/why-are-you-so-jealous/

and last

https://blackdragonblog.com/2016/04/21/resisting-your-biology-good-or-bad/
 

lenox

Caveman lenox
Staff member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
162
Well said @Magok

It's now what happens, but how to you respond

ALWAYS!
 
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