When She Asks: "What Are You On Here For?"(Online Dating)

[AxelC91]

I chat to women on Hinge(I'm in the UK)

I get this question from black women.

When they ask I give them a version of "To meet new people and see where it goes from there."

One lady called me out for that reply and radio silence from another

How do you guys suggest I handle this question?

 

[Pickle Rick]

When she asks

"Why are you here?"

or

"What are you looking for?"

It's a loaded question.

Run.

This already implies you've done something wrong or you are hiding something. You're a wolf on the hunt (It's OK) but in her eyes it's bad. There is no right answer. If you tell her what she wants to hear and if you say I am looking for a relationship to a western woman in the United States you are shooting yourself in the foot. Please note: with Asian women this is pretty much the reverse but that's another story.

If they ask you that then they are super insecure and defensive. They are analyzing and looking for the weak link, the lie, the falsification. They want to prove something to the negative: men are real stinkers or some such thing.

My initial response would be to say these women had bad experiences with men but the reality is they CREATED bad experiences with men. Hey, we've all had people come and go in our lives but somehow according to their logic it is wrong and bad that you might--brace yourself--want to have a good time which might include casual sex. Clench my pearls. Perish the thought.

I've never met a woman who asked that and it turned into something tangible. Granted, there's a lot of them. But chances are slim here. Keep them in rotation and maybe they might change their attitude or they get to know you. But I have never made these women priority. They are second class. That's how they act and that's how they should be treated.

 

[AxelC91]

Thanks Pickle Rick. I'll run when they ask as you say.

When they ask what do I say? Let me just be upfront?

Thanks.

 

[joelsuf]

Yeah that's a question that is best ignored. Whenever a chick asks me that in online dating, I just ignore them and move on.

When they ask what do I say? Let me just be upfront?

Do you mean if they ask what your job is? Just tell them what your job is but be very vague but make sure it has some high value to it.

Like back when I worked as a clerk, I said that I was a shift manager. There's a little more value in that.

Now that I do freelance writing and selling ebooks, I say that I do that. Most of the chicks become fangirls of mine when the read my blog and stuff for some reason lol. Maybe its because I'm trying to help people who have had crappy childhoods, who knows.

 

[AxelC91]

@joelsuf, what's up buddy. Long time?

I meant online dating. When they ask "What you're on the app for?"

@Pickle Rick says run. I'm asking what to I tell them when they ask?

The OI response I can come up with is "Not decided yet" and move on.

 

[TheMaleBrain]

I usually use one of the following:

1. Straight answer: "I like to keep my options open". Then I explain that I can't tell if she is a quality women. If she is - I want to keep her.
2. Re-question: "What ARE YOU on the app for?"
3. As stated above - ignore and plow.

Any one of those will do. It's a numbers game.

 

[AxelC91]

Thanks for the help @TheMaleBrain

I agree, its a numbers game!

 

[Papi Knox]

TWO THINGS

1) women only ask this when you give them a cause for concern

So make it easy to them to know who you are BEFORE you two make contact

Online this means improving your profile with a bio and pics that make it clear you're X not Y

Keep getting this question means you still aren't clear

UPdate this first before you open another girl

We can act on this in detail in the Chat https://t.me/AlphaMale2

2) Never take her serious

All girls aren't serious when they talk so don't talk seriously with her

Disregard her question in a humorous way that gives her a taste of who you are and how you are

Make it fun within the general style of your personality

"Not yet, but I'm building an Empire and you're gonna rule by my side as my Queen. Ready to conquer?"

"I''m a handsome lawyer and successful business. Grew up in the City, but now I call Vegas home. I like Tacos, tequila and cute girls so I thought we'd get to know each other better"

"Jsut the guy who beat up Prince charming, stole his horse, and looking for adventure. Come join me."

Show her you have a quick wit, that you don't take her seriosuly, and do so in a way to test if she has a sense of humour

That last bit is important

 

[AxelC91]

Gotcha @Papi Knox!

 

[sergo]

What would be your answer if she asks are you married? I have in my bio, searching for something casual and I actually am married so it was a legit question actually. She asked me before we got an agreement on meeting, but my answer was poor i think. I said to her: I never lie to my women so if you ask me yes I am married, i am enjoying life and I am happy to meet new people who also are willing to live there life to fullest. She just replyed, thank you for you honesty. Couldn’t get the conversation going then and she disappeared from chat after 2 days

 

[Papi Knox]

The answer is ALWAYS—

"Yes. And she's gonna love you"

Do not take women seriously. They want fun. Only fun. Truth can be fun, if you're playful, mysterious, or provocative with it.

Your job is always the same with any question she asks. Be fun, mysterious, and/or provocative. A quick line, then ask the same question back or a new question.

Practice this. No question should catch you off guard. Girls are simple, they have the same lines and reactions. Like a game of chess know their possible moves and always have a natural response planned for it.

 

[sergo]

Haha that’s an awesome response, thank you! The mix makes it as you say and also how you deliver it. I still need to work on it

 

[Papi Knox]

Takes practice that's all.

So approach. The best is to get to a point where they rarely ask. that means they know, but they purposely do not ask. Don't ask. Don't tell.